RE: Offensive Jokes
September 24, 2014 at 2:05 pm
(This post was last modified: September 24, 2014 at 2:05 pm by Vosur.)
I'm going to add the ones I posted in the same thread on TTA here. 
Yesterday, I failed my biology exam. The question was: "Name something commonly found in cells." Apparently, "niggers" wasn't the right answer.
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A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend: "You won't believe what just happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her and then we had sex over and over again, all positions, everything. His friend replies: "That's great, did you get a blow job as well?" He responds: "Oh no, I never found her head."
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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
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What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
One of them comes back from the camp.
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How are women similar to condoms?
They're either on the end of your dick, or in your wallet.
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What do you say when you see your TV floating across the room in the middle of the night?
"Drop it, nigger."
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Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot.
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Why do Ethiopians give the best blowjobs?
Because you know they will swallow.
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What did the jewish paedophile say to the child?
"Hey kid, would you like to buy some candy?"
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A woman goes out clubbing and meets a handsome black dude. They go back to her place after a night of partying and drinking. As they're getting undressed, the woman slides up to the black dude and says: "Go on stud, show me what makes you black guys famous."
So he stabs her and runs off with her purse.
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My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarassing questions about sex. Just this morning, she asked me: "Is that the best you can do?"
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What's a word that begins with "N", end in "R" that you never want to call a black person?
Neighbour.
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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.
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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Punch her.
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Why do black people and mexicans never marry?
They are worried that their children would be too lazy to steal.
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Alice: Sex yesterday was like the 100m Olympics.
Thomas: Why? Did it only last 9 seconds?
Alice: No, 8 black guys and a gun.
.
Why don't Catholics use condoms?
Because little boys can't get pregnant.
-
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
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Statistically 9/11 Americans won't get this.
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I'm not racist. Racism is a crime and crime is for black people.
-
This girl told me that she wouldn't sleep with me if I was the last person on Earth.
If I was the last person on Earth, she wouldn't have a choice in the matter.
-
My girlfriend is a porn star.
She is going to be so pissed off when she finds out.
Yesterday, I failed my biology exam. The question was: "Name something commonly found in cells." Apparently, "niggers" wasn't the right answer.
-
A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend: "You won't believe what just happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her and then we had sex over and over again, all positions, everything. His friend replies: "That's great, did you get a blow job as well?" He responds: "Oh no, I never found her head."
-
Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
-
What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
One of them comes back from the camp.
-
How are women similar to condoms?
They're either on the end of your dick, or in your wallet.
-
What do you say when you see your TV floating across the room in the middle of the night?
"Drop it, nigger."
-
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot.
-
Why do Ethiopians give the best blowjobs?
Because you know they will swallow.
-
What did the jewish paedophile say to the child?
"Hey kid, would you like to buy some candy?"
-
A woman goes out clubbing and meets a handsome black dude. They go back to her place after a night of partying and drinking. As they're getting undressed, the woman slides up to the black dude and says: "Go on stud, show me what makes you black guys famous."
So he stabs her and runs off with her purse.
-
My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarassing questions about sex. Just this morning, she asked me: "Is that the best you can do?"
-
What's a word that begins with "N", end in "R" that you never want to call a black person?
Neighbour.
-
What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.
-
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Punch her.
-
Why do black people and mexicans never marry?
They are worried that their children would be too lazy to steal.
-
Alice: Sex yesterday was like the 100m Olympics.
Thomas: Why? Did it only last 9 seconds?
Alice: No, 8 black guys and a gun.
.
Why don't Catholics use condoms?
Because little boys can't get pregnant.
-
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
-
Statistically 9/11 Americans won't get this.
-
I'm not racist. Racism is a crime and crime is for black people.
-
This girl told me that she wouldn't sleep with me if I was the last person on Earth.
If I was the last person on Earth, she wouldn't have a choice in the matter.
-
My girlfriend is a porn star.
She is going to be so pissed off when she finds out.
