(March 19, 2015 at 11:27 pm)Bad Wolf Wrote: Wow, awful situation. Few questions:
What was the reason for taking your daughter away from you?
Why are you not allowed any contact any more?
Why is your family so staunchly against you and supporting your ex?
If I read your op right, you have three other children, why are you allowed to look after them but not your oldest daughter?
Great questions...
1. According to the transcripts from the hearing, my ex stated that "the only reason why he wanted Jordan was to teach me a lesson that he was not going away". Being the narcissist he is, he seeks out control. Jordan will never be able to live independently, therefore, she will always need to live somewhere that her needs can be taken care of. My ex, in his smear campaign, realized that once my youngest child (the one he is a biological father to) turns 18, he will no longer be able to use her as a weapon against me because there will be no more custody battles to fight in court. Taking Jordan was a step he used to ensure that he will always have a foothold of control in my life.
2. I am not allowed contact with my oldest because he refuses to allow it. When the courts granted him plenary guardianship, they unfairly stripped away all rights I had. All of them. He was placed in complete control of my daughter. This is one of the primary issues I had brought in front of the Superior court. Now, it's in the hands of the Supreme court.
3. My family is doing what they are doing because back in 2010 when I found out that my mother was crossing boundaries with regards to my oldest, and not adhering to my wishes while my daughter spent weekends with her, I gave her a warning. She continued to violate the boundaries I had set up and this earned her a permanent ban from my life. What she was doing was not in the best interests of my child and even though she knew that my ex was violent and abusive towards me, she stayed in contact with him, despite my wishes for her to stop. There was no compelling reason for her to keep communicating with him whatsoever. Once I removed her from my life and from my daughters lives, she decided to fully jump on the bandwagon of trying to destroy my life. Even though she has done this, knowing what I know, I still would have made the same decision as the one I made back then. Cutting toxic people out of my life is my right and she has been toxic to both me and my kids. It is a heavy price to pay and a hard lesson learned, but I would rather end up fighting for my kids, like I continue to do, than to continue to allow her toxic bullshit into my life, causing further destruction of who I am. She is the reason I have PTSD.
4. I have partial physical custody of my youngest child. My ex cannot refuse me my rights to be with her. I also have equal legal custody of my youngest. He can't do crap without my agreeing to it.
The other two children belong to my fiancee. His sons come to us three weekends out of the month. They have expressed a desire to want to live with us, as we found out last year, their mother was being abusive to them. The boys consider me to be more of a mother to them than their own mom. The last thing I want to do is have them feel that way, but they have a mother who constantly yells at them, beats them and makes them do ALL the housework while she sits on her ass, drinks till she passes out, pops pills and gets high, they started looking at the next closest maternal figure in their lives. That would happen to be me. I love these boys as if they are my own and they know that.
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand.
