SARCASTIC REMARKS TO GET YOU THROUGH THE DAY
And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be ...?
Do I look like a fucking people person?
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.
The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?
It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a pay cheque.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
And which dwarf are you?
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be ...?
Do I look like a fucking people person?
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.
The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?
It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a pay cheque.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
And which dwarf are you?
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
'How can you say, "We are wise, for we have the law of the LORD," when actually the lying pen of the scribes has handled it falsely? Jer 8:8
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. Groucho Marx
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. Groucho Marx
