Genesis interpretations - how many are there?

[Brian37]

Really, can someone tell me how many different interpretations of Genesis are there? Christians clobber us non-stop for not taking Book Of Genesis for granted but which interpretation? They themselves can't agree on what is the right interpretation. These are that I know:

-Flat Earthers: They take book of Genesis really literally and think that you are going to Hell if you don't consider Earth to be flat and center of the universe because spherical Earth that revolves around the Sun corrodes morality making humans "insignificant beings on an insignificant planet."

-Young Earth Creationists: They actually are really similar to FEs they just don't take parts about Earth being flat seriously, but they believe if you accept evolution and non-six day creation that you are immoral because you consider human to be "just an animal". Curiously they think FEs are crazy.

-"Evolutionists": These apparently see biological evolution described in the Genesis book. They seem insecure in their views, sometimes they'll defend YACs and they have relatives that are YACs, but hey at least they're trying.

-Old Earth Creationists: To be honest I find this branch to be maybe the strangest. They believe that god of the Bible created universe in six days but billions of years ago, not 6000 as YACs do. And they have a movement about them that is perhaps mix of people who are YACs and "Evolutionists". Like, I remember watching a nutty "documentary" called "Mystery of the Sphinx" with Charlton Heston where he presents that worldview and as you can imagine their evidence is Atlantis, Edgar Cayce, face on Mars and so on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbUsGnMUH2Y

(EDIT documentary is actually "Mysterious Origins of Man" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQU9AhPnwsk )

There are some other interpretations (probably thousands of them) like some guy that debated AronRa claims YACs are wrong because god didn't create world in 6 days but 6000 years and some other stuff.

why not read it yourself and make up your own mind? why seek knowledge from those who know nothing about what you seek? they only know how to hide from the message not understand it.

If you want to understand creation read chapter 1 as the first 7 days. meaning read the order of creation from day ne to day 7. Now understand this will take you through to genesis 2:3 they did this because the priest who assigned the chapter and verses did not understand what was being communicated in chapter 2:4

Now read chapter 2:4 as if it were a different story. and it will tell you that on the day God made land but before there were plants or rain (some time on day 3) He created a garden then created a man he named Adam and placed in the garden on day 3. Meaning 1/2 through day three the whole of chapter 2 happens apart from the rest of creation. That everything in the garden was made to a modern standard or what was modern 6000 years ago. why 6000 years ago? because that is the point we can trace our genealogies back to the YEC have it 1/2 right in that that 6000 was the exodus of the garden and not the start of creation. why? because the bible does not give a timeline from the end of creation to the exodus of the garden..

If you read chapter one and two as they are subdivided into book chapter and verse you create automatically a timeline that begins 6000 years ago. the problem with that is the chapter 2 does not end and chapter 3 begins. chronologically chapter 2 ends on day 4 of the chapter 1 narrative. meaning after the garden and everything in it was complete day 4 of creation begins and ends, then day 5 ect... so chapter two is not a chronological consistent with chapter one and 3. 

Matter of fact in chapters 4 through the end of adam life there are several things the bible mentions that prove life outside the garden was moving along at a much different pace than life inside the garden. meaning the men and women Adam's children married and had kids with, the city of nod cain ran off too and all the other things that once counted as a contradiction or paradox in the creation story. it all comes together if you just read what is on page and not pay attention to the notations. Day 4.5 God creates the garden and everything in it apart from the rest of creation. day 6 God created man outside the garden...

Now because there was no timeline given as to how long man was in the garden, that leaves room for you evolutionist... meaning A&E could have been in the garden 1 day a year or a bazillion years or whatever evolution says it needs. the only thing we do know is when they came out which was about 6000 years ago.

Which part? The part where men magically pop out of dirt? Or the part where women magically pop out of a man's rib? Or the part where plants are made instantly without photosynthesis? Or the part where God condones killing off the Egyptian firstborn over a beef he has with an adult? 

We have read the bible, and just like Harry Potter it isn't that hard to read fiction to know it is just that.