Don't Shit in your own home, God says NO!

[reverendjeremiah]

Me, I have a pot on my front porch that I shit in. Just kidding, I figured no one would vote no and that made me really want to vote that way.

On another note, did anyone else read the title of the thread and imagine God with a rolled up newspaper chasing after some puny human scrambling to pull his pants up?

What...you got an outhouse or something?

LMFAO "Dont shit in the middle of camp...Im your sky daddy" He says as he smacks you on the ass with newspaper...obviously getting off on it.

[LarissaAnn]

I literally could NOT resist!

Let the old man be God
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uWjt2y_G0Q

[Minimalist]

did anyone else read the title of the thread and imagine God with a rolled up newspaper chasing after some puny human scrambling to pull his pants up?

I instantly thought of G-C.

[Erinome]

God knew that toilets wouldn't be around for a few thousand years. He could have told those desert people how to fashion a toilet and install plumbing, but that's not how god works. He works in mysterious ways.

[Godscreated]

What if Im sitting outside on my front pourch and I let loose the warm butt mud in my pants?

Does that count as shitting in my house?

That smells of an old man who needs diapers.

[reverendjeremiah]

What if Im sitting outside on my front pourch and I let loose the warm butt mud in my pants?

Does that count as shitting in my house?

That smells of an old man who needs diapers.

Either that or drinking too much beer.

What if I pinch a grumpy in someone elses house? Will the lord accept that, or will I be damned?

[Minimalist]

Fuck the lord....but I don't think you'll be invited back.

[kılıç_mehmet]

Deuteronomy 23:12-14
You shall also have a place outside the camp and go out there, and you shall have a spade among your tools, and it shall be when you sit down outside, you shall dig with it and shall turn to cover up your excrement. Since the LORD your God walks in the midst of your camp to deliver you and to defeat your enemies before you, therefore your camp must be holy; and He must not see anything indecent among you or He will turn away from you.

And this is supposed to be a joke, or serious?
I can't really tell the difference sometimes.

[reverendjeremiah]

Fuck the lord....but I don't think you'll be invited back.

But what if they feed me collards and corn beef hash? surely they would understand the poop fuel they are shoving down my gullet and would forgive an explosive trip to the bathroom.

[Godscreated]

Since we do not live in desert camps and the toilet has it's place in our homes God knows we are smart enough to know this commandment only applies to those who might live in a similar situation as the Israelites did at that time.

For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

Matthew 5:18

I hate having to remind you about your fucking bible, G-C. Maybe you should read the goddamn thing instead of simply mouthing off about it.

Sounds to me like your 'god' may be getting ready to take a big shit on your head for your heresy.

The reason you know it's there is because what Christ said is true. However that law only applies to those who chose to live a life in acceptance of God, who themselves live in an outdoor community. This law was given to a community of people who dwelt in an outdoor situation. Though I know you can not understand simple things, there it is in black and white. If those brilliant Europeans you so love had listened to God's word they may have not suffered the sicknesses that were so rampant for them, living with excrement in the streets seems to have that effect on people, actually they could have benefited from many of the cleanness laws of the scriptures.