Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: April 28, 2024, 5:54 pm

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Make an Offering to God
#1
Make an Offering to God
Pascal's Wager is a crock but that doesn't mean we shouldn't gain ourselves some favour from at least one deity.

Gods have many representatives on Earth, they do some dodgy things, I'd like to make it easier for gods to control their minions.

[Image: wii-controller.jpg]

That Cthulu sounds worrying, I'd like him/her to sleep as peacefully as possible.

[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQEijQqnpXbYUxIYjuA0lx...LRK_FBieww]

So if you want to get yourself some favour send a god a gift, might be best to send them all of one, they are inclined to jealousy.

[Image: YgZ8E.png]
Reply
#2
RE: Make an Offering to God
The gods are going to be pissed you couldn't even spring for the wii motion plus.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
Reply
#3
RE: Make an Offering to God
(January 10, 2012 at 8:58 am)Faith No More Wrote: The gods are going to be pissed you couldn't even spring for the wii motion plus.

The gods are going to be pissed that you offered the wii period.

LOL.
Reply
#4
RE: Make an Offering to God
(January 10, 2012 at 8:58 am)Faith No More Wrote: The gods are going to be pissed you couldn't even spring for the wii motion plus.

Shoosh, they are old, they won't notice.


Religion is loosing it grip on people, if only gods listened and answered the occasional prayer they'd do much better. If only my prayers for the smiting of the demon Brussels sprouts had been answered, I may have been able to fabricate a faith.

So an ear trumpet so the old buggers can hear us.

[Image: hearing_aid_German_silver_ear_trumpet_Tiemann.jpg]


[Image: YgZ8E.png]
Reply
#5
RE: Make an Offering to God
Here, people just take a ram, goat or bigger animal.
My grandfather sacrificed a horse sometimes.
Hmm...Besh barnaq...
[Image: trkdevletbayraklar.jpg]
Üze Tengri basmasar, asra Yir telinmeser, Türük bodun ilingin törüngin kim artatı udaçı erti?
Reply
#6
RE: Make an Offering to God
I make an offering every morning, no god has taken me up on the offer...so I end up just flushing the toilet like usual. I suppose I could let it sit, in case gods like to take their time, but then my house would smell exactly like they sound..........
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Reply
#7
RE: Make an Offering to God
[Image: 32196_408228962459_696402459_4255530_4981480_n.jpg]
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
Reply
#8
RE: Make an Offering to God
Is that seriously a guardsmen saving a cat in a flood.....I like that that guy.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Reply
#9
RE: Make an Offering to God
Yeah, I respect that man.

Cats can't always save themselves.
Cunt
Reply
#10
RE: Make an Offering to God
(January 10, 2012 at 9:24 am)The Magic Pudding Wrote: So an ear trumpet so the old buggers can hear us.


How about an actual fucking trumpet so the bastards can let us know they actually exist
[Image: trumpet-2.gif]
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  'God' is starting to make less sense to me. (rant) IanHulett 45 6794 June 19, 2015 at 7:40 am
Last Post: Cyberman



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)