Why Have Men Escaped Slut-Shaming?

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

[KichigaiNeko]

Men here have not really escaped...at all

most are still regarded as "tools"

[frankiej]

Well, it is like this: A key that opens many doors is a MASTER key, but a lock that is opened by many keys is just a shit lock.

[Whateverist]

Well, it is like this: A key that opens many doors is a MASTER key, but a lock that is opened by many keys is just a shit lock.

lol in a hope-no-ones-looking sort of way.

I think Wildurr is right about the reasons for the difference in an evolutionary way. I sure appreciate women who are willing to stand up to this programming. In the sense of finding personal fulfillment that programming is definitely working against you now. Besides, what would we do without you?

Rocket man must be bored out of his gourd. There is a certain thrill in first time sex but after 1500th time that has got to be gone. Eventually, the only way to experience something new is to see where a relationship goes if you stay put.

[The Grand Nudger]

I think Clinton got the bad wrap for his fling because he was married to another woman. I think single guys are encouraged to sleep around (and virgin-shamed if they haven't yet) while single women are labeled as bad "relationship" material if they have casual sex.

My opinion?

Before hormonal birth control and paternity tests, men only had to provide for the babies their wives had. Therfore, "smart men" would ideally marry a woman who either has a low sex drive in general or who is extremely picky in who she has sex with so the husband wouldn't end up a cuckold and raising children that didn't share his genes.

At the same time, men who slept with women they weren't married to effectively could avoid the burdens of providing for a child - leaving the women to care for the child by themself - which was practically impossible to do without the ability to work.

Therefore, it was in women's best social interest to remain chaste and put all of her sexual energy towards her husband - the one who would be providing for the care of her children. That is why we still have men who prefer "non-slut" wives and why women often label other women they don't like as a "slut" - it's a carry-over from an age where that reputation would make men hesitate to marry her - therefore dooming her to a life of loneliness (or prostitution).

That would be a strange one, birth control methods have been practiced longer than marriage, many cultures even up to first contact didn't have any such convention (or their analog would be unrecognizable to us). As far as we can tell women have been the primary caregiver for a very long time. Marriage itself is just a cultural expression of "heir security". Smart men would shaft anything that moved for the majority of our history (and still do). "The ability to work" has only meant something since "work" meant something, a flash in the pan with regards to our time here. Marriage is actually a flash in the pan with regards to "work" as well. Marriage was once a convention of the moneyed few. Kings, queens, dukes and duchesses married, common people lived together and screwed.

Find me a man who prefers a "non-slut" wife. Sure, he may not want his wife walking the trapeze with a road cone up her ass and two electrodes attached to her nipples with another man, but in his bedroom, a-okay. The trouble with explaining something like this by reference to our culture is that many times these behaviours are much older than our culture.

[kılıç_mehmet]

Is the way we shame women for being promiscuous (slut-shaming) while we praise men for being promiscuous (virgin-shaming) simply an attempt to control women? Or is it something else? FWIW, I have heard far, far more "slut shaming" from women towards other women than I have heard it from men (and I was in a FRATERNITY.)

Obviously, religion had its fair hand in discouraging extra-marital sex - but why didn't it enforce it against men very effectively?

I believe that it has to do with the roles of the two sexes.
It's usually up to the female to allow or reject advances.
In that regard, women are promiscuous are generally the ones who allow a lot of men to sleep with them, while men simply follow the law of nature in this regard.
For why it wasn't enforced against men...Well, as I said before, it's mostly at the hands of a woman to reject a man. I've seen very few cases where the female actually chased behind the male in my own society. Here, you're lucky to have a girlfriend who sleeps with you, else, the only girl you're going to get is Elizabeth, or a prostitute from the nearest brothel.

Of course, that being said, what constitutes a "slut" also changes here.
For example, someone who might wear things that are too revealing, or too flamboyant would be considered slutty here. Even if she doesn't sleep around with men, she'd still be considered as such(our famous saying, sexual morality isn't just at the vagina).
If the tables were turned, like, if men were to be the ones to either allow or reject men in that regard, I'd say that the term would mostly be applied to men. I'm not sure if females use such terms for males, but I've heard a lot of girls calling other girls sluts and whores, perhaps more than I've heard men doing the same.

[Cinjin]

I don't know why anyone would shame a slut (or even a whore for that matter).

At least they're honest and I think girls that are sluts are often the only ones not using sex to gain something for nothing.

Cheers to you sluts and whores for keeping sex honest.

[Rev. Rye]

Well, the way I see it, if a woman has sexual misconduct, whatever that may be, she can get problem, and will possibly end up with a baby and 9 months' pregnancy. If a man does, it's harder to prove it's happened, especially if the woman doesn't say anything.

It may not be a good reason, but, hey, it's what worked for western civilization all these years.