View from up my end: New Church crisis looming

[Cyberman]

You'd better all brace yourselves for a shock.

I just learned some terrible news in one of our local newspapers. Churches across the region, under the auspices of the Diocese of Lichfield, are warning of a terrifying new crisis ahead. Forget same-sex marriage, never mind about rampant godlessness in our nation, pay no attention to the kiddy-fiddling priest behind the curtain. This pisses all over that stuff.

Ready?

We're facing a chronic shortage of vicars.

Apparently a lack of funding and sheer public indifference could spell the end for the parish vicar. At one time these happy little creatures with their distinctive white-throated plumage could be seen nesting in old churches all over the area. Now, alas, their place on the endangered list seems inevitable, with some 40% of the species set to retire over the next eight years and little in the way of young to replace them.

Now, you may be thinking "So what?" or "Good riddance", or even possibly "So where's the problem?" - I know I did. But all these harmless little parasites want to do is to be left alone to live their lives and to tell everyone else how to live theirs. So please, spare a thought for the humble little parish vicar. You know they'd think of you.

[genkaus]

You'd better all brace yourselves for a shock.

I just learned some terrible news in one of our local newspapers. Churches across the region, under the auspices of the Diocese of Lichfield, are warning of a terrifying new crisis ahead. Forget same-sex marriage, never mind about rampant godlessness in our nation, pay no attention to the kiddy-fiddling priest behind the curtain. This pisses all over that stuff.

Ready?

We're facing a chronic shortage of vicars.

Apparently a lack of funding and sheer public indifference could spell the end for the parish vicar. At one time these happy little creatures with their distinctive white-throated plumage could be seen nesting in old churches all over the area. Now, alas, their place on the endangered list seems inevitable, with some 40% of the species set to retire over the next eight years and little in the way of young to replace them.

Now, you may be thinking "So what?" or "Good riddance", or even possibly "So where's the problem?" - I know I did. But all these harmless little parasites want to do is to be left alone to live their lives and to tell everyone else how to live theirs. So please, spare a thought for the humble little parish vicar. You know they'd think of you.

Here's my spared thought.

[Minimalist]

At least the catholics have an advantage there.

They can always recruit new priests in gay bars.

[5thHorseman]

Mega Catholic country Spain has to import priests from South America because no one wants to do it. Suprise.

[Doubting Thomas]

At least the catholics have an advantage there.

They can always recruit new priests in gay bars.

Min, I really take issue with what you posted here. Catholic priests aren't homosexuals. They're pedophiles. They don't have sex with other men, they have sex with children. There is a difference.

The Catholic church has had a priest shortage for years, at least 25 years or so, probably longer. They could probably get more people interested if they'd just allow women to be priests, and allow priests to get married. And get rid of the funny robes. But the priest shortage is in my opinion why the church instead of removing the pedophile priests from duty passed them around from church to church and covered up the problem. Why get rid of a good priest just because he wanted to diddle a few kids? Priests don't grow on trees, you know.

[Minimalist]

It's the altar BOYS who always seem to catch hell.... perhaps they are both?

[Jackalope]

Heartbroken. No, really.

[KichigaiNeko]

[SaintGeorge]

You people are all so fucking simple.

Who gives a shit about pedo vicars?

I see a next revolution cumming,... though it will still be many years.

Abuse by Iman's and other Islamic religious leaders. Seriously,... Imans are like living Saints and untouchable in the eyes of their followers. Imans are the personification of the words written down in that book you are only allowed to burn under xtreem circumstances not being your backyard BBQ,... named Quran.

So all you guys have been CONSUMING Catholic Church abuse in the media,.. you curse at these pedo Prietsts and Vicars ... RIGHTLY SO !

.... and at not one time you thought to yourself ... This kinda stuff may possibly also be happening in the Islamic world too !!!

COME ON !

The best way to secure you will live, being not get stoned to death,... when you are are pedophile in the Islamic world,... is to have a religious job of power.

It is already known to many UN organisations that females that get arrested by the Islamic Vice Squad in Iran, get raped alot,... but that the women dare not to speak out,... for the pure fear they will get seen as a whore within their own family,... and get killed for even accusing these ppl of these acts. And that is just Iran we are talking about.

So ...

How do you think it would be for a child in the Islamic World ... when facing a pedophile Islamic leader-Iman.

They have no change!

[Cyberman]

I suggest standing on a box. That way you're less likely to have irony, not to mention subtlety, fly right over your head.

So all you guys have been CONSUMING Catholic Church abuse in the media,.. you curse at these pedo Prietsts and Vicars ... RIGHTLY SO !

.... and at not one time you thought to yourself ... This kinda stuff may possibly also be happening in the Islamic world too !!!

Ignoring for the moment that this has nothing to do with the thread, though to be fair there has been mention further back, please don't tell me what I do or do not think. Otherwise I'm going to think you're an arrogant arsehole, aren't I? And we wouldn't want that.