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Quote:I am over 60 and the Armed Forces think I'm too old to track down
terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got
the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight,
they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military
unit until you're at least 35.
For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10
seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving
us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the
enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier
is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and
hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some jerk that
desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a
while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 AM, old guys always
get up early to pee so what the heck. Besides, like I said, 'I'm
tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up
killing some fanatic.
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put
them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brain
teaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed
and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an
appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to
get out of the house.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat
and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor
did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never
seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't
figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the
back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little
more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward Muslim terrorists.
The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million po'd off
old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best
years are already behind them.
(March 26, 2012 at 8:11 pm)Minimalist Wrote: There is a lot of truth in this.
Quote:I am over 60 and the Armed Forces think I'm too old to track down
terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got
the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight,
they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military
unit until you're at least 35.
For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10
seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving
us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the
enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier
is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and
hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some jerk that
desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a
while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 AM, old guys always
get up early to pee so what the heck. Besides, like I said, 'I'm
tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up
killing some fanatic.
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put
them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brain
teaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed
and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an
appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to
get out of the house.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat
and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor
did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never
seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't
figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the
back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little
more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward Muslim terrorists.
The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million po'd off
old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best
years are already behind them.
So true Min! So true!!
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
Oh, Watchman, Padraic and Min .. you poor bastards. I won't be 60 for almost a year so until then, you have my condolences. If you need a young shoulder to cry on, I'll be here for you.
(March 26, 2012 at 8:27 pm)whateverist Wrote: Oh, Watchman, Padraic and Min .. you poor bastards. I won't be 60 for almost a year so until then, you have my condolences. If you need a young shoulder to cry on, I'll be here for you.
Then in a years time you can cry on my young shoulders whateverist.... 'ya old fart'
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
(March 26, 2012 at 8:27 pm)whateverist Wrote: Oh, Watchman, Padraic and Min .. you poor bastards. I won't be 60 for almost a year so until then, you have my condolences. If you need a young shoulder to cry on, I'll be here for you.
Then in a years time you can cry on my young shoulders whateverist.... 'ya old fart'
I'll be 27 on April 15. My parents gave me the astoundingly boring name of Rachel Leah (pronounced the Hebrew way like "Leia") because they were lazy fucks and picked two Jewish sisters out of the Bible to please a great-aunt for names.
I have freckles, so no one believes I'm that old. That could also have a lot to do with my maturity level. I still laugh at the word penis. Then again, they are sort of funny looking.
I had a bunch of other things written, like how I'm single and what my favorite position is, and then I remembered this is the wrong area of the forum and this isn't that kind of thread.