There is little time.

[Phil]

I fasted and prayed for three days

And you're still fat?

Nearly all of you have been weighed in the balance and found wanting.

You forgot to say Mene, Mene, Tekel Upharsin. You see some atheists are familiar with the fairy tale you know as Daniel, nice to know you read about Belschazzar's feast. Seek professional help otherwise I strongly recommend an admin here trace your IP and give a copy of your post to the authorities where you live so they can save you from the suicide attempt you will be obviously making in 12 days.

[Zen Badger]

I got left out of the list of the condemned, sad now.

Oh BTW Wanking.

Fuck you, and fuck your poxy, petty, infantile excuse for a deity.

---

And you better get one of these just in case you get forgotten during the rapture



You wouldn't want to get left behind afterall

[FoxBlade]

I fasted and prayed for three days and I have been given my answer. Nearly all of you have been weighed in the balance and found wanting.

Wanting what exactly? How do we know you weren't hallucinating?

My human heart wanted to save you, but what I did not know is that that time has passed. God has told me to inform all the atheists and all those who deny him through worship of a false god that they have been condemned.

That's the thing you don't understand about atheism; atheists do not worship things that don't exist. There's no 'false god' that atheists worship, as far as atheists are concerned there is no 'god' to worship.

Secondly, even if your god did exist - I wouldn't worship a god that thinks its okay to send people to an eternity of hellfire because they disagree with him.

The great book has been closed and all who are not inscribed there shall be damned forever in a lake of eternal fire. The instructions of an almighty God outweigh the rules of man and certainly those of any internet forum, therefore I have no choice but to bend the rules here and trust that God has His righteous plan for His prophet.

Either you're a troll or you need some serious medical help. I'm not saying that to be hurtful to you, if you're serious - you really need to seek some serious phychological help.

You have 12 days from this post until your souls will be required of the almighty God. You’re going to suffer eternal punishment and sadly there is nothing I can do about that.

Why does an all-powerful god need a prophet to tell us this? Why doesn't he just show the world that he exists? If God really existed and wanted to save us from some eternal hellfire god would have a very easy way to do that and he wouldn't need a prophet talking head to do it.

Secondly, why is disagreeing with your god reason to send billions of people to an eternity of hellfire? Your god sounds evil.

It’s no laughing matter. Beg forgiveness. If there is even the slightest doubt in your convictions – you must get on your knees and accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Savior. The rest will surely burn forever in the eternal fires of Hell. The Bible says the wages of sin is death and most of you are going to suffer beyond imagination for an eternity simply because you’re too proud to come clean.

Jesus Christ is Lord and He is returning in twelve days. You will all bend your knee and bow before His awesome power!!!!!!!!! When I meet Him in the air you will know that the meek have inherited the earth and by then it will be too late for you!!

Won't you please come follow Jesus with a servant's heart?

Okay, I'm pretty convinced that either you are one of the biggest trolls I've seen on many of the internet forums I've been posting in over the last 10 years or that you are in need of some serious phychological help.

[Creed of Heresy]

I needed to laugh.

Thanks for this.

[R-e-n-n-a-t]

Minimalist and Rhythm – you will not be able to hide behind your intellect any longer.
Cinjin – you are damned for being a self-proclaimed whoremonger and for prohibiting the spread of the Word of God by attempting to ban me by warning me for preaching.
Faith No More, Napoleon, Norfolk & Chance, Insanity X, Phil, and No More Faith – you will join your friends in torment because of your mockery of God’s servants, myself, Chipan and Godschild.
Reverend Jeremiah - isn’t a reverend of the one true God and will certainly incur the same punishment as sorcerers, false prophets and sooth sayers. Many many more of you are going to suffer for your denial of my Savior.

Women like KichigaiNeko and Shell B will suffer a witches fate for their open blasphemy.
In addition, those nymphomaniacs LittleMissAwesome, Aleialora, and TheSummerQueen will suffer infinitely more for their love of debauchery, homosexuality and all things sexually perverse and unsanctioned of the Lord.

Hey, you didn't mention me! I'm insulted. I demand to be referred to as a pagan heathen who kills angels with dark spells. No, seriously, there's one in my garage. They're not as tough as you would think. A simple blight ward from the Mother Goddess and they wither up nice and quick.

On another note, are we sure that our IP addresses are secure? This guy sounds just insane enough to actually try something.

[KichigaiNeko]

---

I fasted and prayed for three days and I have been given my answer. Nearly all of you have been weighed in the balance and found wanting. My human heart wanted to save you, but what I did not know is that that time has passed. God has told me to inform all the atheists and all those who deny him through worship of a false god that they have been condemned. The great book has been closed and all who are not inscribed there shall be damned forever in a lake of eternal fire. The instructions of an almighty God outweigh the rules of man and certainly those of any internet forum, therefore I have no choice but to bend the rules here and trust that God has His righteous plan for His prophet.

You have 12 days from this post until your souls will be required of the almighty God. You’re going to suffer eternal punishment and sadly there is nothing I can do about that.

Minimalist and Rhythm – you will not be able to hide behind your intellect any longer.
Cinjin – you are damned for being a self-proclaimed whoremonger and for prohibiting the spread of the Word of God by attempting to ban me by warning me for preaching.
Faith No More, Napoleon, Norfolk & Chance, Insanity X, Phil, and No More Faith – you will join your friends in torment because of your mockery of God’s servants, myself, Chipan and Godschild.
Reverend Jeremiah - isn’t a reverend of the one true God and will certainly incur the same punishment as sorcerers, false prophets and sooth sayers. Many many more of you are going to suffer for your denial of my Savior.

---

Women like KichigaiNeko and Shell B will suffer a witches fate for their open blasphemy.
In addition, those nymphomaniacs LittleMissAwesome, Aleialora, and TheSummerQueen will suffer infinitely more for their love of debauchery, homosexuality and all things sexually perverse and unsanctioned of the Lord.

There is yet some hope, as my Lord is infinitely merciful. The Angel of the Lord told me that there is a small handful of you that still have the opportunity to accept Christ in these last 12 days. Please do so.

---

It’s no laughing matter. Beg forgiveness. If there is even the slightest doubt in your convictions – you must get on your knees and accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Savior. The rest will surely burn forever in the eternal fires of Hell. The Bible says the wages of sin is death and most of you are going to suffer beyond imagination for an eternity simply because you’re too proud to come clean.

Jesus Christ is Lord and He is returning in twelve days. You will all bend your knee and bow before His awesome power!!!!!!!!! When I meet Him in the air you will know that the meek have inherited the earth and by then it will be too late for you!!

Won't you please come follow Jesus with a servant's heart?

---

[NoMoreFaith]

I fasted and prayed for three days and I have been given my answer.

So, not so imminent as to make him hurry up his replies a touch.

Nearly all of you have been weighed in the balance and found wanting. My human heart wanted to save you, but what I did not know is that that time has passed. God has told me to inform all the atheists and all those who deny him through worship of a false god that they have been condemned.

So God told you, to put a message on a internet website, and this constitutes his "last chance" for atheists. Ever stopped to consider that is a really odd thing to do.
Sounds to me that some is feeling uncomfortable about their beliefs, and is projecting that into an idea that those who made them feel uncomfortable will stop existing.

This isn't a revelation, its a crisis.

The great book has been closed and all who are not inscribed there shall be damned forever in a lake of eternal fire.

God needs a book? Who is the book for? Did omniscience not come with a very good memory?
Or does God have administrators and superhuman resources departments to keep records?
So many questions and so little time left to answer!

The instructions of an almighty God outweigh the rules of man and certainly those of any internet forum, therefore I have no choice but to bend the rules here and trust that God has His righteous plan for His prophet.

Maybe he's trolling you. Like he trolled the others who believed just as fervently as you do.

Apocalypse Predictions that Failed

You have 12 days from this post until your souls will be required of the almighty God. You’re going to suffer eternal punishment and sadly there is nothing I can do about that.

Will you promise to come back in 13 days and apologise if the world is still here? I think that would be fair, considering what a venomous message this is.

Whatever happens, life is good and beautiful, so don't do anything like suicide. You maybe delusional, but I sincerely hope you don't do anything stupid when you're wrong. Promise me that much.

Minimalist and Rhythm – you will not be able to hide behind your intellect any longer.

Ha, jokes on you, you should have hidden behind the sofa.

Cinjin – you are damned for being a self-proclaimed whoremonger and for prohibiting the spread of the Word of God by attempting to ban me by warning me for preaching.

The 10th circle of hell. Moderator trolling.

Faith No More, Napoleon, Norfolk & Chance, Insanity X, Phil, and No More Faith – you will join your friends in torment because of your mockery of God’s servants, myself, Chipan and Godschild.

Oh, I would if I could have, but I simply couldn't add anything meaningful to the mockery you make of yourself.

Reverend Jeremiah - isn’t a reverend of the one true God and will certainly incur the same punishment as sorcerers, false prophets and sooth sayers.

He isn't a real reverend? What does this mean? I gave him all my money already!

Why are sorcerers going, but not wizards. Sorcerers have innate abilities, but wizards actively study the evil magics... thats got to be way more sinful.
I'll have to check my D&D players guide to be sure.. hang with me while I check the "Book".

Women like KichigaiNeko and Shell B will suffer a witches fate for their open blasphemy.

Liar! You haven't weighed them to see if they weigh the same as a duck.

---

same as a duck

---

In addition, those nymphomaniacs LittleMissAwesome, Aleialora, and TheSummerQueen will suffer infinitely more for their love of debauchery, homosexuality and all things sexually perverse and unsanctioned of the Lord.

INFINITELY MORE THAN ETERNITY! The mind boggles.

There is yet some hope, as my Lord is infinitely merciful. The Angel of the Lord told me that there is a small handful of you that still have the opportunity to accept Christ in these last 12 days. Please do so.

A small handful can be saved, and he is infinitely merciful?
I do not think infinitely means what you think it means.

Jesus Christ is Lord and He is returning in twelve days. You will all bend your knee and bow before His awesome power!!!!!!!!! When I meet Him in the air you will know that the meek have inherited the earth and by then it will be too late for you!!

Meek? You should look up the definition, because you aren't inheriting anything so far.

'Multiple exclamation marks,' he went on, shaking his head, 'are a sure sign of a diseased mind.

Won't you please come follow Jesus with a servant's heart?

Just don't do anything stupid in 12 days okay.

By the way, the theists on this forum can get a backbone. Its obvious this guy may well be capable of doing something incredibly rash and stupid in 12 days, and you could at least look after your fellow deceivers by ensuring they don't do anything too crazy.

Your silence against such insanity is a condemnation of your faith, a secret fear he might be right, stopping you from pointing out his errors properly. You share and bear some blame if he does something rash and stupid.

[Forsaken]

Fuck your god.
Now tell me what's in store for me?

[Christian]

One King, I think it is satan, not Jesus Christ who is speaking to you. I discussed your case with my Pastor and he asked me to tell you to read the Revelations more carefully. The end is soon, but not so soon. There are still things unfulfilled, which Jesus Christ promised will be done before his second coming. Please don't do anything rashly. It's satan who is deceiving you, please understand that.

[Ace Otana]

God has told me to inform all the atheists and all those who deny him through worship of a false god that they have been condemned.

Gawd hasn't said a damn thing, this is all you. That's the delusion. You're hearing what you want to hear, because it's you who's saying it. You're just asserting that some gawd said it instead.
Pathetic.

The great book has been closed and all who are not inscribed there shall be damned forever in a lake of eternal fire.

So your gawd is malicious. Nothing new.

The instructions of an almighty God outweigh the rules of man and certainly those of any internet forum, therefore I have no choice but to bend the rules here and trust that God has His righteous plan for His prophet.

That's fine, but you know the consequences of breaking forum rules. Not that you care of course. Also you've selected yourself as this 'prophet' which is just another delusion. Clearly your imagination has taken hold of your judgement. In other words, you've become a slave to your own imagination.

You have 12 days from this post until your souls will be required of the almighty God. You’re going to suffer eternal punishment and sadly there is nothing I can do about that.

Good thing you have no authority over nature and reality. Your beliefs will only affect you (psychologically).

There is yet some hope, as my Lord is infinitely merciful.

The rest will surely burn forever in the eternal fires of Hell.

All merciful and forever torture is a contradiction. You've just hit yourself in the face with it and completely oblivious to it.

If there is even the slightest doubt in your convictions – you must get on your knees and accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Savior. The rest will surely burn forever in the eternal fires of Hell.

Fuck Jebus.

The Bible says the wages of sin is death and most of you are going to suffer beyond imagination for an eternity simply because you’re too proud to come clean.

Which makes no sense. Forever torture for simply not believing? Hardly justice. It's cruel, malicious and irrational. Not the sort of god I'd want anything to do with. Infinite torture for a finite victimless crime cannot not ever make sense.

Jesus Christ is Lord and He is returning in twelve days.

13th of April? Ok then, let's see what happens.
So what are you going to say when nothing happens?

Won't you please come follow Jesus with a servant's heart?

Nope.