Male Rape - An Invisible Problem

[Hovik]

I've become increasingly aware that there are attitudes of ridicule, joking, and often times sheer malice concerning the topic of rape committed against males. It is often argued that men cannot be raped, and those who are raped are often told to "man up" or are told by their peers that they should consider themselves lucky for "getting laid," essentially. It's a pretty sick double standard that I'd like to help break down.

Men who are raped often later report feelings of emasculation and being trapped by a system that doesn't recognize what's been done to them. While my particular evidence is admittedly anecdotal, I've even heard of police outright refusing to take the reports of male rape seriously. We live in a culture where we've been programmed such that rape is something that happens exclusively to women to the point that news articles will change the word "raped" to "forced to have sex" in many cases.

This is a serious yet invisible issue, and I'd like to open the floor to discussion about the topic. Specifically, what are some of your particular attitudes toward the issue? Why, in your opinions, is the idea that men cannot be raped so entrenched in our culture? Lastly, what can be done to make visible the issue?

Edit: Just to give a sense of perspective on the matter, Googling "rape" yields this definition: "The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, esp. by the threat or use of violence."

[Tempus]

Specifically, what are some of your particular attitudes toward the issue?

Male rape should carry the same importance as the word 'rape' does for women.

Why, in your opinions, is the idea that men cannot be raped so entrenched in our culture?

I think people mistakenly assume that men can't experience unwanted arousal (get erections they don't want, in other words) which leads them to conclude that the man must've wanted to have sex. Of course it could also be a man raping another man, which would render the arousal of the victim irrelevant. Also, perhaps people think that rape only occurs when the victim is physically overpowered. In my opinion, rape occurs when someone is forced into having sex, so in that sense someone could be shamed / coerced into an unwanted sexual encounter without there being physical force applied or threatened.

Or maybe it's a hangover from the good ol' days where the delicate, fairer, softer, incompetent sex needed to be managed by the competent, rough, sturdy, strong man. Women are expected to be raped because they're weak, passive and helpless. Men are expected to be strong, assertive and able to defend themselves. While it's much more subtle today, I think we still have certain (sexist) expectations of the sexes which do both a disservice. A more subtle example of this might be the expectation of the man to pay during dates.

Lastly, what can be done to make visible the issue?

It ought to be mentioned in sex education, for a start. I don't know what sex ed is like now, but it wasn't mentioned when I was at school.

[FallentoReason]

In terms of moral ethics, I think the reason why a man getting raped is equally immoral is because they have been used as a means to an end. The reason why jokes are made like 'lucky that you got laid' is that the pre-concieved notion in society is that that's what males want. Sex, sex and more sex. Therefore in moral terms society tends to subconsciously think the act of male rape is not that bad because they are the end in themselves and not the means (so that their 'attacker' gets what they want).

EDIT:
So to raise awareness, one would have to start telling society that men don't enjoy that without their consent, just like women. Then in the minds of people, the 'means' and 'end' will flip over in their subconsciousness and they will realise it's immoral because it's against their will, just like women.

It's all about changing the culture and making people realise that guys don't see sex in all circumstances as good.

[Tiberius]

The denial of male rape is unfortunately only one aspect of the problem. It is very common to see the denial of Men's Rights, or to label the entire Men's Rights Movement as misogynists. There are a number of inequalities that affect men:

- A father is less likely to receive custody of a child after a divorce, and often does not get to see them that often. However, they are more likely to have to provide payments for the children (to the mother), despite this lack of visitation.

- A man is more likely to be employed in dangerous work conditions, such as the army, emergency services (esp. fire department), etc.

- A man is less likely to be able to have a say in the abortion of his child.

- A man is less likely to report domestic violence due to the social stigma attached to it.

Oh, and in case any of you are fans of the South Poverty Law Center, be aware that they recently declared various Men's Rights organisations (even the /r/mensrights subreddit) as hate groups, based on absolutely no evidence.

[Cinjin]

I'm well aware that a man can be raped, but how does a man get raped by a woman????

Do you have an example?

Can you link an authenticated news story of a man being raped by a woman?

[frankiej]

She could tie him up and feed him viagra... or there is the option of a strap on.

[Cinjin]

She could tie him up and feed him viagra... or there is the option of a strap on.

yes, but if she could tie him up, she'd have to knock him out and then be able to move him and what not. Is she some kind of muscular olympian? The only way she wouldn't have to move him is if he was already in such a location that sex was on his mind anyway and therefore, rape wouldn't be an issue as he was "ready to role."

Also, she could use a strap on - on him, but it would seem that would defeat the purpose at least in some way.

My point is, a woman trying to rape someone like me would be a joke. I'm 6'3 and 225 lbs. Knocking me out would be extremely difficult let alone getting my unconscious body into such a location and position to tie me up and assault me. I just really would like to know how a woman rapes a man????

[frankiej]

She could tie him up and feed him viagra... or there is the option of a strap on.

yes, but if she could tie him up, she'd have to knock him out and then be able to move him and what not. Is she some kind of muscular olympian? The only way she wouldn't have to move him is if he was already in such a location that sex was on his mind anyway and therefore, rape wouldn't be an issue as he was "ready to role."

Also, she could use a strap on - on him, but it would seem that would defeat the purpose at least in some way.

My point is, a woman trying to rape someone like me would be a joke. I'm 6'3 and 225 lbs. Knocking me out would be extremely difficult let alone getting my unconscious body into such a location and position to tie me up and assault me. I just really would like to know how a woman rapes a man????

What about this crazy lady???

[jackman]

not a female/male rape, but this guy could explain male rape ...

[LastPoet]

yes, but if she could tie him up, she'd have to knock him out and then be able to move him and what not. Is she some kind of muscular olympian? The only way she wouldn't have to move him is if he was already in such a location that sex was on his mind anyway and therefore, rape wouldn't be an issue as he was "ready to role."

Also, she could use a strap on - on him, but it would seem that would defeat the purpose at least in some way.

My point is, a woman trying to rape someone like me would be a joke. I'm 6'3 and 225 lbs. Knocking me out would be extremely difficult let alone getting my unconscious body into such a location and position to tie me up and assault me. I just really would like to know how a woman rapes a man????

I was thinking the same thing. Mabe a very sturdy woman, dunno. There aren't alot of news on that either.

I guess it happens somewhere, somehow, I call Rule 34.

Rape should be defined by me as the sexual intercourse where the offended part is forced. This applies to partners incapables to consent.