Movies That Should Have Been Epic

[Gambit]

100% with you on Resident Evil, Stimbo. I was going to mention it but felt like I was hogging the thread, and I knew someone would pick up on it. As a Romero fan I also appreciated the nod to continuity with blades; it just wasn't enough to save the movie.

[Cyberman]

I wonder what happened to his little beard, though?

[Shell B]

Haha, I knew that comment would suck you in. You're so damn predictable - just like your pet series of "books". Yes, I am questioning their validity as books. They're books like Mitt Romney is a legitimate republican candidate - The votes are in, the sheep are on the bandwagon, and if you've lost all faith in anything magical, you might just believe that they're something worth investing time in. You would take his (Stephen King) opinion, you Stephen King whore. Some people will go to extreme lengths to ingratiate themselves with their favorite authors, I swear.

Says the guy who has been humping my leg ever since he found out I can be within ten minutes of the guy whenever I visit my sister. By the way, don't forget to bring antiseptic next time you come around humping.

Name something unoriginal about it, Napo. Come on, make comparisons to other novels/films. Back up your regurgitation of blog critiques.

[Tea Earl Grey Hot]

Oh, I forgot, MST3K: The Movie should have been epic, but instead it was shorter than one of the episodes.

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

By the way, don't forget to bring antiseptic next time you come around humping.

Meow.

[Cyberman]

I notice that the Star Wars series was mentioned. While I think the prequels are pretty much universally held to be quite dire, the original trilogy really ought to be seen as a product of its time. The original Star Wars, even before it acquired Episode IV status, was really crafted by hand as they went along; in fact since nobody knew what ILM was going to do with the special effects (Lucas had apparently wanted simply to film model spaceships being thrown past the camera), plus the non-human characters all voiced their own lines muffled behind their masks - not to mention poor Darth Farmer - everyone thought it was going to be a flop and wondered what the hell they'd got themselves into. In fact, my personal opinion is that there should never have been any sequels; as a space-opera fairytale, with wizards and princesses to rescue from a Hidden Fortress, the story worked perfectly on its own. The sequels, good as they may be, are a little too curate's egg for my taste and almost threaten to disappear down the rabbit-hole of religious philosophy. However, I think that to fully appreciate the films, you have to be about twelve years old when watching them for the first time and ideally be in 1978 with everything that was happening in the world during that period.

Anyway, there is a whole group of extremely talented people who spend their time re-editing and, arguably, improving professionally-produced films, which are available to download free of charge so long as you own a copy of the original film. Some of the best work I've ever seen is by a bloke who called himself Adywan who has already re-edited the original Star Wars, correcting the many errors from the original cut as well as ones that were somehow introduced into the DVD and Blu-Ray releases. Cracked featured his work in this article, which is how I found it, and which not only showcases but gives links to an entire list of over two hundred and fifty changes he made to the special effects, continuity, undoing most of the Special Edition vandalism, cleaning up the picture quality etc. I've downloaded his version of Star Wars: Revisited and it's damn professionally put together. You'd swear it was a commercial DVD, proper menus, covers, disc labels and all.

He's currently working on an improved version of The Empire Strikes Back and plans to rework all six films to bring them all into line with each other, style-wise. Promised alterations to the prequels include: no mention of Anakin becoming Darth Vader, so as not to spoil the shock reveal in Empire (whoops, sorry - spoiler); no mention of C-3PO being built by Anakin, in fact Threepio won't even appear until Revenge of the Sith; no Midichlorians; and absolutely no Jar-Jar.

Hopefully, the films truly will be epic.

[Anomalocaris]

The Star Wars films in general (the scripts were poor in all the films), but particularly the prequels.

That last Indiana Jones film.

There are two types of good movies. The first type dare your brain to apply its utmost to set a high standard, and then meet it. The second type injects your brain with a numbing anesthetic, and then proceeds to laugh at your resulting insensibility.


Starwars and Indy movies belong to the latter category.

[Jackalope]

Waterworld could have been a bit better.

No. That movie was never made.

[The Grand Nudger]

Silver Bullet, enough said. Cycle of the Werewolf, along with Dreamcatcher, being the only two things Stephen King ever wrote that I can actually stand...both of which were butchered before they reached the box office.

[Shell B]

You think they're bad? Check out some of his made for tv stuff. Rose Red and Storm of the Century were good, but the Langoliers was wtf.