Single Men and Bachelors: Feminism is not for you.

[Rhizomorph13]

My brother wanted a dolly when he was a young boy. He also really liked showtunes and the Wizard of Oz. He wanted to be Dorothy for Halloween. He had a smothering mother and distant father. He knew he was gay around the age of 5. Sometimes stereotypes are right. He doesn't have any speech affectations that would indicate his sexuality, so not totally cliche.

I think feminism is a negative force in society. It was necessary at one time, but not as useful now. I've known a few females that agree. One of the women I worked with talked about the fact that, now that females have embraced feminism, she still gets paid less than men but now she has to open doors for herself and maybe split the bill during dates. Funny comedy bit really.

[thesummerqueen]

Perhaps people should just assume less and ask more polite questions.

We get into discussions similar to your statement all the time thanks to the uproar in the skeptic community about gendered toys. Now, I've made some rather scathing posts about "laptops for women" and the Bic pen mess, but the fact is there are women (and probably men) out there who want a bejeweled laptop or a purple colored pen. There are going to be children who probably should be encouraged in science but won't be interested in it unless it's "pretty" and is a lab set that creates make up or some shit. And there will be others who don't give a rat's ass (like me). I'm not concerned about that so much as the media, toy companies and parents making decisive lines. So what if a boy wanted to play with dolls or create make up? Some of the best designers, chefs, perfumists, and make up artists are men - activities that would be deemed effeminate or gay if a younger man was doing them. Fact is, my very straight boyfriend is much more stylish than me. And so what if a girl wanted to play with tonka trucks? I happen to be a much better "messy" person than my boyfriend - I can four-wheel a jeep and tear through handy-man work like no one's business. But I also like the whole ritual of make-up and manicures and he loves taking cars apart and back together. Was it because we were raised on more gender neutral terms, or are our personalities just much stronger than society's encouragement? Who's to say who is right?

I think the best course is to encourage your kids to try a lot of things, and don't discourage them from something they enjoy. Let them choose. Teach them the important stuff: how to be clean and look decent for the public/interview/date. How to balance a checkbook. How to find the information you need to perform basic house repairs. How to ask the right questions to get what you want. How to cook basic healthy meals. How to be respectful.

No more "How to be a man" or "how to be a woman".

Although I am jealous that there isn't a feminine version of "The Art of Manliness", which is one of the greatest blogs I've ever come across, whether you're a man or woman.

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I wonder how much of this will go away when people stop being afraid of their kids turning out gay?

[festive1]

I shaved my head a few years ago, just because I was sick of my hair. My oldest was confused and asked if I was a boy now. I explained that some girls have short hair and some boys have long hair. He still identifies longer hair with the feminine, but seems to understand that it isn't the defining point of being male or female.

[thesummerqueen]

I've thought about it, living here in the humid South, but long hair suits me better (unfortunately.) I'm still growing it out from having it cut up to chin-length.

[festive1]

I've thought about it, living here in the humid South, but long hair suits me better (unfortunately.) I'm still growing it out from having it cut up to chin-length.

Mine is growing out now too... It's kind of mullet like, but the curls hide that for the most part. It was very nice to have no hair in the DC humid summer though. Sigh, Hubby likes it long.

[thesummerqueen]

Yeah, so does BF. And I do miss putting it up in fancy do's.

[TaraJo]

I've thought about it, living here in the humid South, but long hair suits me better (unfortunately.) I'm still growing it out from having it cut up to chin-length.

I know what you mean. Plus, I have the added worry that I don't know if I'll really pass for female if I cut my hair too short. As it is, I got my hair cut a couple of weeks ago and this is about as short as I'm willing to go right now.

Ok, technically, my hair is in pigtails, so when it's down it's a little longer.

[thesummerqueen]

hah! I love the pigtails.

I've been thinking of doing a bang for a while now but worry that I'll get sick of it too soon and have to grow it out all over again.

[festive1]

It's cute! I love putting my hair in pigtails :-)

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I have to have bangs, just look at my forehead...

[thesummerqueen]

Mine's not that small either...that's why there's typically a swoosh of hair draping it...