Why I feel Stuck in Christianity

[themonkeyman]

Hi Folks,

When I became a Christian 5 years ago I always had a belief in God. That is because I was taken to Church every week by my Grand Parents so I went to Sunday School but I never really 'Got' It and what it was all about but I did enjoy hanging out with people.

When I became a Christian 5 years ago I experienced the High - I felt on fire for God and wanted to learn more of his ways. I even went on a Missionary Trip to Romania to teach others about God.

Then 2013 Happened.

I heard people speculate on St Malachy's Prophesy that the next Pope when revealed would signal the end of the world. This got me into an awful state! At this time I was a Christian but one thing got to me deep down.

When I was a Christian in my second year I read Matthew 12 and I encountered the 'Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit' - This literally frightened the shit out of me. The second I tried not to think about what that could be I said 'F*** the Holy Spirit' in my head I felt hopeless and became like many other Christians trawling through pages of Apologetics hoping to find the Right answer. Eventually University got in the way of my life so it pottered off and Life resumed to normality.

Well back to 2013 I never had a Problem with my Christianity however at times I felt I was the 'Bad Fruit' - When I heard about the St Malachy's prophesy I got really anxious and depressed I thought if I committed the Blasphemy even in my head I would be 'Left Behind' at the Rapture. What a horrible thought.

What was even more horrible is the thought that there would be friends and family left behind. Not because they were with me but the fact that I knew by helping them they could still goto heaven if they died while knowing all along I was excluded for the Blasphemy.

This put me into the deepest depression I had ever had.

Then I went to the Doc they gave me anti anxiety pills - The Pope didn't end the world there and then so my fear and worry went away... FOR A WHILE.

During my depressive state and the blasphemy stuff I was looking up and reading about it, People told me that it was Satan and Demons convincing me I had done it, Others said that the Holy Spirit is convicting me of the Sin?

With these thoughts in my head I said muttering to myself is it possible that the Holy Spirit is like a D****? So I went and researched what a Demon actually is and I found it said Unclean Spirit. So I thought by me muttering that I have condemned myself. I am a Computer Programmer when I said Demon the thought I had was 'Demon Tools' basiclly it controls your CD Drive so I thought that the Holy Spirit 'Controlled' People hence why I said one would be like another.

That put me really down - Imagine reading everything from aplogsts and people saying that its speaking a word against the Holy Spirit. Imagine people saying that calling the Holy Spirit a Demon or Satan is committing it.

I got into a big problem because I used the word 'Like' I would never as a Christian have implied they were the same only that they had one Characteristic that could be common to both.

So for 4 months now that's been tormenting me!, It was something that cannot be proved either way because I needed literal evidence, In my heart I said I didn't do it / Christians said I didn't do it but for some reason I feel deep down I did do it. - I prayed to God and asked for peace but none was found!

Then I had a thought - Stop Believing!

For the last 4 weeks thats exactly what ive started doing! Yeah the issues and problems are still there and yeah I worry but they are becoming less problematic as I read and learn more about the problems of Scripture.

Tonight I have read to Genesis 24 and I have 116 Questions and problems regarding it and I have already found afew contridictions. One thing I have learned is Abraham is a Dick and very deceptive oh and that God shows favouritism to people time and time again and to every one else they get shit befall on them.

My question here is when does the penny Drop?!

I know Noah is based on Mythology - But Genesis does not disprove Gods existance it mearly proves he was a Dick!

Are my in the right direction here or are my barking up the wrong tree?

[Something completely different]

Guten Abend

edit:

oh sorry, I thought this was another interduction.

[Silver]

One of the problems with religion is that it scares people into continuing to believe the lies. Once one realizes that the unholy babble is merely a fiction book, it becomes easier to logically understand the myriad lies interwoven into religion.

If you are beginning to understand that the biblical god is in fact a tyrannical monster unworthy of worship, then you are headed in the right direction. You are no longer relying upon those rose colored glasses while reading scripture, and that means freedom from scriptural slavery.

[Minimalist]

May a horny camel shit on the holy spirit.

[My imaginary friend is GOD]

Religion is a hard thing to unlearn. It informs one's entire worldview. It is deeply ingrained in the thinking of everyone in our culture. You can't expect to be completely free of it overnight.

[Raeven]

I've got a couple of questions for you that might help. Perhaps they've been posed before, but I'm new, and my hope is that if this is a common way of thinking, I shan't be made the object of derision for raising it (yet) again.

First, ask yourself this: If you hadn't been RAISED in your faith, meaning it was something that was drilled into your head as a child by important persons with authority in your life (grandparents), is the whole Christian belief system the one you would have arrived at through your own, independent thinking? In other words, if it hadn't been TAUGHT to you, would you have any reason to believe it, or think it is a reasonable belief system upon which to base your life?

Second, if the belief systems of all religions were erased (how I wish!) in an instant, do you think when those systems were reinstated by humans, they would be exactly the same as what you've been taught? Are they true enough to repeat? Is there a chance they would be different? In considering this question, do examine how many disparate belief systems exist concurrently in the world TODAY, to say nothing of all those that have gone before. If you believe they might be different, then move on to the next question: Would the immutable laws of science be different? Or do you think they would be the same as they were rediscovered? (I think they would.)

That's the difference between "truth" and Truth. It's an important distinction, and one well worth learning. I hope this way of thinking about it all is helpful to you in some little way.

[ThomM]

If you have any question as to whether you are going in the correct direction by questioning your "religion" - What you need to do is be rational - and actually READ the BIBLE - from page one

IF you have any questions that it is fiction - you will not after you have actually read ALL of it - not just the sections the cons what you to hear

Remember - YOU are instructed NOT to give money to religions IN THE BIBLE

Give to Caesar what is Caesars - give to god what is gods.
So - why do religions spend so much time asking for something you are not supposed to supply? AND why would an all powerful god NEED money to begin with. If prayer works - why would its religion need any either?

[freedomfromforum]

I was raised without religion, though christian science was taught in my home from a young age. I became a christian in my 30's, and after 13 years in the cult, I just woke up one day and thought.. "This is all bullshit," and I stopped believing. I have no fear of hell. I have no faith in a god. I have been freed. I promise not to pray for you, though I will hold hope for you that the fear in you dies sooner than later. Have peace, freedom will come if you let it.

[Tonus]

My question here is when does the penny Drop?!

That is different for each person, because our circumstances are different. There is a lot of subconscious programming that you cannot simply switch off, and even once you reach that point where you accept your rejection of god and religion and become comfortable with it, you are likely to have those moments when you wonder and worry.

Imagine a phobia- an irrational fear. A fear of something that you know is exaggerated, but which you cannot seem to help. Getting over the fear of something like, for example, dragon flies may take years of effort and you may still not be completely at ease around them. Even though you know that they are harmless, your brain insists that they are terrifying and your whole body will react when you see one, before you even realize what is happening.

The religious beliefs and behaviors that were drilled into your brain from the time you were a child are still there, and still forcing your mind to react. You'll overcome it, but it takes a while and I don't think that there is some magic moment when you know that you've crossed over. More likely is that you realize one day that you haven't been hit by those doubts and worries for a while, and you'll know that at some point in the past you finally cleared the most important hurdles. It's worth it to know that you will reach that point, and that it's a very comforting and liberating feeling.

[Drich]

Blaspheme of the Holy Spirit is not pairing the title of the Holy Spirit of God with a disparaging word in the English language. Blaspheme of the Holy Spirit is a hardness of the heart that will not let a person attribute the works of God the Holy Spirit, to God the Holy Spirit. In the two examples we have this is what the Pharisees did, that Christ condemned. Jesus channeled the power of the Holy Spirit to do Hid Miracles. All the while the Pharisees tried to explain them away. When they ran out of explainations instead of acknowledging God working through Christ and excepting the Changes He was insisting that they make, they went the other way and said his works were from satan.

As Christ is not here to perform miracles through the Holy Spirit any more the only thing we can do to blaspheme the Spirit is to ignore/blaspheme his work as long as we have access to it. That means as long as God has given us this life. For we have been told we have this life to make that choice. That said we have also been warned that this life is but a vapor here one second and gone the next and we have not been promised our next breath. Even so, as long as we draw breath we have an opportunity to accept what the Holy Spirit offers. To deny the Spirit your whole life is the blaspheme Christ spoke of.

Christ knew the men/Pharisees hearts, and knew if they were not willing to acknowledge Christ and the Holy Spirit as God even after all they saw with their own eyes, they never would. So to with each of us. Never the less we have been given this life to prove that fact to ourselves.

So fear not so long as you draw breath, you have not blasphemed the Holy Spirit. The fact that your even worried about it says your not there or even close.
Its the George Carlins who are in their late 70's who have been flying the flag of God hate and disbelief their whole lives who look forward to 'oblivion' are the ones who are in danger. Even then there still is a chance as long as they draw breath.

Not in the way of a loop hole chant they can perform with their dying breath, but with an earnest change of heart.