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Current time: November 17, 2024, 10:55 pm
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This couple is way to christian
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After reading some of the other stories on that site, I'm convinced it's a poe site.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
Holiness related to sex? Sex related to holiness? Ay dios mio! Why do they keep doing this?
I suggest, if they want to make the sex subject holy, that they can have sex on an altar in front of the congregation as an offering. That'll convert me any day! Praise god all mighty!
Pointing around: "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out!"
Half Baked "Let the atheists come to me, and stop keeping them away, because the kingdom of heathens belongs to people like these." -Saint Bacon 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lark_News
Quote:Lark News is an online comedy website satirizing contemporary American Christian culture, specifically evangelicalism.[1] It is written by author and freelance journalist Joel Kilpatrick.[1] (November 6, 2013 at 5:14 pm)Ivy Wrote: Holiness related to sex? Sex related to holiness? Ay dios mio! Why do they keep doing this? You're depraved, twisted, and perverted. I find those qualities admirable. 
Lemonvariable72
Copenhagen School  Religious Views: Its all bullshit to keep you handing money to the usher. (November 6, 2013 at 5:14 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lark_News I had suspicion that it was a Landover Baptist type thing. But with religion you never know
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day, To the last syllable of recorded time; And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more. It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. 
OK - that is a bit weird even for Xtians. The potato thing reminded me of something from years ago, however:
I'd bought my wife a vibrator - which she didn't have much interest in at the time. Months later I found her using it in the garden - to plant potatoes. When I suggested that couldn't be either the best tool for the job, or the best job for the tool she explained: a/ 6 inches is the ideal depth to plant a potato. b/ She just loved the way it dug its own hole. Takes all sorts.
Kuusi palaa, ja on viimeinen kerta kun annan vaimoni laittaa jouluvalot!
Now that's what I call fucking the whole earth. Or hole earth.
*in Russian accent* Tell her to get her dick out of ground. You can blame it on me.
Though it wouldn't surprise me if some couples did remain celibate after marriage, except that a lot of them think that having children is a duty to God. But after hearing about couples who never even kiss until at the altar, stories like this are believable.
As far as never kissing until the wedding day, for God's sake get some practice so you don't look like this:
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
 (November 6, 2013 at 5:14 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lark_News It had to be because she isn't that fugly. I can see myself visiting it a lot....which reminds me, I have to drop in on Landover Baptist. |
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