Does Satan work for God?

[houseofcantor]

I could rape one of his daughters then give him 30 shekels and then because god said it's ok, he'll be fine with it.

You are one sick person, go find help before you harm someone.

GC

Lolz @ irony.

[KUSA]

I could rape one of his daughters then give him 30 shekels and then because god said it's ok, he'll be fine with it.

You are one sick person, go find help before you harm someone.

GC

It's all in your sick bible. Murder, rape, incest, slavery, ect. They were just godly people doing godly things that were encouraged and condoned by god.

[MitchBenn]

There is something that doesn't make any sense to me that I'd like input on:

If you don't worship God/Jesus you go to hell.

Satan punishes those in hell (because they didn't worship God/Jesus).

Why? Surely Satan will be waiting for you to give you a pat on the back for rejecting God as he did? What is Satan punishing you for exactly? Does Satan want you to worship God afterall?

Makes no sense to me. You?

Looks like another job for Mitch Benn's Patented Four Word Solution To All Biblical Contradictions And Inconsistencies!

Altogether now...

IT'S ALL MADE UP.

As you were.

[Zen Badger]

I could rape one of his daughters then give him 30 shekels and then because god said it's ok, he'll be fine with it.

You are one sick person, go find help before you harm someone.

GC

I'm just going by the laws laid down in YOUR bible, by YOUR god.

If that makes me a sick person, what does that make your god?

[truthBtold]

You are one sick person, go find help before you harm someone.

GC

I'm just going by the laws laid down in YOUR bible, by YOUR god.

If that makes me a sick person, what does that make your god?

An idiot

[Sword of Christ]

He did up until the Book of Enoch when he rebelled with a third of the angels of heaven and took human wives. That's no longer in the Bible but that's where Satan as we know him originated.

[Crossless2.0]

He did up until the Book of Enoch when he rebelled with a third of the angels of heaven and took human wives. That's no longer in the Bible but that's where Satan as we know him originated.

In other news, Hamlet dithers and Scrooge has a change of heart. I love history!

[truthBtold]

Whats no longer in the bible?

[Sword of Christ]

Whats no longer in the bible?

The Book of Enoch is no longer canon, it was set before the Noahs Ark flood narrative and written around the first century BC. There's a reasonably good video game based on it.



An angel called Lucifel who uses a mobile phone to talk to God stars in it, but it's reasonably faithful to the source material.

[EvolutionKills]

I could rape one of his daughters then give him 30 shekels and then because god said it's ok, he'll be fine with it.

You are one sick person, go find help before you harm someone.

GC

Oh joy, a perfect time to quote your own vile book back at you.

(Deuteronomy 22:28-29 NLT)
If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her.


(Deuteronomy 20:10-14 NASB)
“When you approach a city to fight against it, you shall offer it terms of peace. If it agrees to make peace with you and opens to you, then all the people who are found in it shall become your forced labor and shall serve you. However, if it does not make peace with you, but makes war against you, then you shall besiege it. When the Lord your God gives it into your hand, you shall strike all the men in it with the edge of the sword. Only the women and the children and the animals and all that is in the city, all its spoil, you shall take as booty for yourself; and you shall use the spoil of your enemies which the Lord your God has given you.


(Deuteronomy 22:23-24 NAB)
If within the city a man comes upon a maiden who is betrothed, and has relations with her, you shall bring them both out of the gate of the city and there stone them to death: the girl because she did not cry out for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbors wife.


(Exodus 21:7-11 NLT)
When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she will not be freed at the end of six years as the men are. If she does not please the man who bought her, he may allow her to be bought back again. But he is not allowed to sell her to foreigners, since he is the one who broke the contract with her. And if the slave girl's owner arranges for her to marry his son, he may no longer treat her as a slave girl, but he must treat her as his daughter. If he himself marries her and then takes another wife, he may not reduce her food or clothing or fail to sleep with her as his wife. If he fails in any of these three ways, she may leave as a free woman without making any payment.


(Numbers 31:7-18 NLT)
They attacked Midian just as the LORD had commanded Moses, and they killed all the men. All five of the Midianite kings – Evi, Rekem, Zur, Hur, and Reba – died in the battle. They also killed Balaam son of Beor with the sword. Then the Israelite army captured the Midianite women and children and seized their cattle and flocks and all their wealth as plunder. They burned all the towns and villages where the Midianites had lived. After they had gathered the plunder and captives, both people and animals, they brought them all to Moses and Eleazar the priest, and to the whole community of Israel, which was camped on the plains of Moab beside the Jordan River, across from Jericho.

Moses, Eleazar the priest, and all the leaders of the people went to meet them outside the camp. But Moses was furious with all the military commanders who had returned from the battle. "Why have you let all the women live?" he demanded. "These are the very ones who followed Balaam's advice and caused the people of Israel to rebel against the LORD at Mount Peor. They are the ones who caused the plague to strike the LORD's people. Now kill all the boys and all the women who have slept with a man. Only the young girls who are virgins may live; you may keep them for yourselves.