Friends with benefits?

[*Deidre*]

I think the problem lately is, I don't know what I want.

It does sound like a problem. I know what I want. Please explain.

I don't know if I don't 'want' a relationship per se, or I'm just afraid of losing another one. That's the best way I can explain it, lately. :/

You know what you want? You are lucky to know without hesitation. :=)

---

What do you all think about the concept of ‘friends with benefits?

I think it's a wonderful idea and has a way better track record than marriage.

Asked two of my offline Christian friends and they say it ‘cheapens your worth in a man’s eyes.

They're idiots. It doesn't cheapen the man if a woman just wants to have friends with benefits so why does it cheapen women? sounds a bit hypocritical. Just more Anti-Sex rhetoric from religious people.

My offline atheist friends say ‘nothing wrong with it, but if feelings emerge, it can ruin the friendships.

It doesn't matter if you're Atheist or Theist, because you will find Atheists that think it's wrong to have FWB and you'll find Christians that will love FWB. It doesn't matter, in fact it seems like Christians are more loose than Atheists according to where most STD's are, the more religious areas of the U.S. But sure, lots of things can ruin a relationship, not just having sex with them, so why not give it a try if both parties want it?

Hmmm. I don’t want to get serious with anyone, but hanging out with someone in a ‘mutually beneficial’ arrangement, sounds…appealing.

You're damn right it does, and it gives you more chances to find that special someone if you're actually looking for one person to be with, lots of people want that. Most people want to have someone they can depend on their whole life, so getting yourself out there more and experimenting with more people gives you the chance to find whoever and whatever you want in life. It seems that stifling choices makes for a worse world where people are less happy with who they're with.

This is good advice, you know. I agree, that my Christian friends are basically giving the anti-sex rhetoric lecture. The religion itself is built on how women should protect themselves from all the big bad men in the world. Ugh. Glad to be out of that cult. But, that cult-like thinking still prevails sometimes within me. And I find myself doubting the things I want, should I do this or that? Is it...dare I say...moral? Immoral? I know better, I do. But, old habits die hard, thus my thread topic here, to gain some objective insights.

Thank you for your thoughts, you are quite logical about all of this!

[The Valkyrie]

I think, sometime, you just need to throw off your inhibitions and just have good, healthy sex with someone who is like minded.

I'm not necessarily talking about one-night-stands, although they can be fun (yes, I've had one after a breakup of a long-term relationship), or with some slobbering pervert.

I'm talking about some fun with a willing partner. Someone mutually in need of some fun that you've known for a while and trust.

[sven]

I've tried the fuck buddy thing before. In my experience it is better used as a short term arrangement.

Probably right. I think if two people are hanging out on a continual basis, sleeping together--chances are, a relationship might blossom, inadvertently. lol

I think the problem lately is, I don't know what I want. I had two serious relationships and they ended with a lot of pain and hurt, and while I've healed from them, I might not be ''ready'' to open myself up in any way, to anyone, for any reason.






Except you, Thunder Cunt.

Wow. Looks like you are getting some conflicting information!
Asking for advice on the internet. 70% of the time, it works every time.

[The Valkyrie]

Probably right. I think if two people are hanging out on a continual basis, sleeping together--chances are, a relationship might blossom, inadvertently. lol

I think the problem lately is, I don't know what I want. I had two serious relationships and they ended with a lot of pain and hurt, and while I've healed from them, I might not be ''ready'' to open myself up in any way, to anyone, for any reason.






Except you, Thunder Cunt.

Wow. Looks like you are getting some conflicting information!
Asking for advice on the internet. 70% of the time, it works every time.

That's what the internet is for.

[Phatt Matt s]

I've tried the fuck buddy thing before. In my experience it is better used as a short term arrangement.

Probably right. I think if two people are hanging out on a continual basis, sleeping together--chances are, a relationship might blossom, inadvertently. lol

I think the problem lately is, I don't know what I want. I had two serious relationships and they ended with a lot of pain and hurt, and while I've healed from them, I might not be ''ready'' to open myself up in any way, to anyone, for any reason.






Except you, Thunder Cunt.

I'm going to continue to arouse myself with the belief that u were serious. :p

Also u look younger than u r. Dont b offended by the "mum" comment. When I say such things it is a compliment.

Also the only way u would get hurt in a relationship with me is if I went too fast and too deep
Mine hurt especially on the long ones.

---

Also, don't take the "I'm not lookin for commitment" comment the wrong way. I'd be more than commited to giving you as much erotic pleasure as possible...all night long!

[*Deidre*]

Probably right. I think if two people are hanging out on a continual basis, sleeping together--chances are, a relationship might blossom, inadvertently. lol

I think the problem lately is, I don't know what I want. I had two serious relationships and they ended with a lot of pain and hurt, and while I've healed from them, I might not be ''ready'' to open myself up in any way, to anyone, for any reason.






Except you, Thunder Cunt.

I'm going to continue to arouse myself with the belief that u were serious. :p

Also u look younger than u r. Dont b offended by the "mum" comment. When I say such things it is a compliment.

Also the only way u would get hurt in a relationship with me is if I went too fast and too deep
Mine hurt especially on the long ones.

---

Also, don't take the "I'm not lookin for commitment" comment the wrong way. I'd be more than commited to giving you as much erotic pleasure as possible...all night long!

I'm in my early 30's and you think I look younger, why thanky kind sir.


As to the rest of what you said, lol you are adorable in your own unique way.
:p No worries. I'm not looking for commitment.

And lol at your comment sven. 70% is good, no??
:p

[sven]

And lol at your comment sven. 70% is good, no??
:p

Well, it's better than Sex Panther...

[Rahul]

...or with some slobbering pervert.

Damn.

[*Deidre*]

I think, sometime, you just need to throw off your inhibitions and just have good, healthy sex with someone who is like minded.

I'm not necessarily talking about one-night-stands, although they can be fun (yes, I've had one after a breakup of a long-term relationship), or with some slobbering pervert.

I'm talking about some fun with a willing partner. Someone mutually in need of some fun that you've known for a while and trust.

If in honest, I still have hang ups about "casual sex." I took my pics down in the members photos thread FFS, because I thought they were too sexy. lol Residual hang ups from religion. But I'll get there.

Or I'll become a Mormon Fundamentalist. :p

Jk

You're very right and I'm envious that you have literally what seems to be the ideal situation going on in your own life. I'm happy for you. :-)

[The Valkyrie]

I think, sometime, you just need to throw off your inhibitions and just have good, healthy sex with someone who is like minded.

I'm not necessarily talking about one-night-stands, although they can be fun (yes, I've had one after a breakup of a long-term relationship), or with some slobbering pervert.

I'm talking about some fun with a willing partner. Someone mutually in need of some fun that you've known for a while and trust.

If in honest, I still have hang ups about "casual sex." I took my pics down in the members photos thread FFS, because I thought they were too sexy. lol Residual hang ups from religion. But I'll get there.

Or I'll become a Mormon Fundamentalist. :p

Jk

You're very right and I'm envious that you have literally what seems to be the ideal situation going on in your own life. I'm happy for you. :-)

I honestly think the secret is to be yourself and do what you're comfortable with and don't let others pressure you into things you don't want to do.