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RE: joke time
August 10, 2018 at 12:21 pm
I pretended to be a girl in csgo competitive matchmaking. At first I just played csgo, but I worked up to more. I even skyped with a guy, dressed as a sexy woman "with poor connection" so the video would blur. After many seductive photos of my ass in my sisters underwear I convinced him I was the real deal. It took me 3 weeks to become his girlfriend.
Eventually I scammed this guy out of $600 because I convinced him I would come visit if he paid for the flight. I was lucky it paid off because i had spent nearly $200 on make up to pull off this con. He also gifted me over 20 games on steam.
11/10 would do again. It was actually a nice weekend when I flew to visit him and didn't even mind sucking cock. We're looking to move in together in October.
"Every luxury has a deep price. Every indulgence, a cosmic cost. Each fiber of pleasure you experience causes equivalent pain somewhere else. This is the first law of emodynamics [sic]. Joy can be neither created nor destroyed. The balance of happiness is constant.
Fact: Every time you eat a bite of cake, someone gets horsewhipped.
Facter: Every time two people kiss, an orphanage collapses.
Factest: Every time a baby is born, an innocent animal is severely mocked for its physical appearance. Don't be a pleasure hog. Your every smile is a dagger. Happiness is murder.
Vote "yes" on Proposition 1321. Think of some kids. Some kids."
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RE: joke time
August 10, 2018 at 7:26 pm
^ WTAF
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: joke time
August 10, 2018 at 8:26 pm
(August 10, 2018 at 7:26 pm)ignoramus Wrote: ^ WTAF
To be fair, it
is the joke thread. I'm as capable as any at getting a punch line, usually. This one sailed right on by!
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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RE: joke time
August 10, 2018 at 9:44 pm
(This post was last modified: August 10, 2018 at 10:12 pm by Cyberman.)
There's a competition for amateur self-proctologists. I'm going to enter myself.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
August 10, 2018 at 10:28 pm
(August 10, 2018 at 9:44 pm)Cyberman Wrote: There's a competition for amateur self-proctologists. I'm going to enter myself.
If you post this at the wrong website, you just have to know that someone is going to tell you to go fuck yourself.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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RE: joke time
August 10, 2018 at 10:45 pm
The date for this year's Incestuous Relationship finals has been announced. I'm thinking of entering my sister.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
August 10, 2018 at 11:15 pm
(August 10, 2018 at 10:45 pm)Cyberman Wrote: The date for this year's Incestuous Relationship finals has been announced. I'm thinking of entering my sister.
Dayamn, I've missed your twisted sense of humor! Stick around!
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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RE: joke time
August 10, 2018 at 11:23 pm
I'm looking forward to Crufts.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
August 13, 2018 at 4:28 pm
A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.. Seeing God
She asked "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
Face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.
She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her
Teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as
Well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing
The street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 33 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the Ambulance?"
God replied:
"Shit! I didn't recognize you!"
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RE: joke time
August 16, 2018 at 1:37 pm
Do you know why Trump's a Christian?
Because he thinks those cross necklaces are "t's" and that they stand for Trump.
"Tradition" is just a word people use to make themselves feel better about being an asshole.
