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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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joke time
Cod Offline
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#2901
RE: joke time
November 11, 2018 at 3:49 pm
I was at the bank today. An old lady asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over.

My girlfriend called me immature.. I told her to get out of my treehouse.
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#2902
RE: joke time
November 12, 2018 at 4:18 pm
Q:  How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Two. One to change the bulb and one to steady the cock.  I mean father.  I mean ladder. Dammit.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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ignoramus Offline
wiggle wiggle
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#2903
RE: joke time
November 12, 2018 at 5:44 pm (This post was last modified: November 12, 2018 at 5:45 pm by ignoramus.)
[Image: 2mdssv.jpg]
[Image: 2mdsxw.jpg]
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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Jackie Offline
Previous username: Brian37
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#2904
RE: joke time
November 13, 2018 at 12:55 pm
Line from the old 1980s detective/comedy "Moonlighting".

David, as usual gets into a fight with Maddie over the sell of the detective agency, ends up depressed at a bar.

Bartender asks him what he will have and he responds, "Bloody Mary, easy on the blood, heavy on the Mary."
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
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Jackie Offline
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#2905
RE: joke time
November 13, 2018 at 2:19 pm
I was just watching another episode of the Bad cop spoof of Dirty Harry comedy "Sledgehammer," they end up in his apartment and the camera pans down to a magazine on his coffee table titled, "Better Homes and Missiles".
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#2906
RE: joke time
November 13, 2018 at 2:25 pm
(November 13, 2018 at 2:19 pm)Brian37 Wrote: I was just watching another episode of the Bad cop spoof of Dirty Harry comedy "Sledgehammer," they end up in his apartment and the camera pans down to a magazine on his coffee table titled, "Better Homes and Missiles".

Vigilante cops, "We want you to join our group who believe in righting wrongs through force and agression."

Hammer: "I'm already a registered republican."

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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A. Secular Human Offline
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#2907
RE: joke time
November 13, 2018 at 5:08 pm
The divorce court judge is admonishing Mickey Mouse:

"Mr. Mouse, you need to have more compassion for the differently-abled! Suing Minnie Mouse for divorce because she is 'crazy' is completely unacceptable!"

Mickey's response:

"Ha ha! I'm not filing for divorce because she's 'crazy'! It's because she's fucking Goofy!"
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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ignoramus Offline
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#2908
RE: joke time
November 13, 2018 at 6:02 pm (This post was last modified: November 13, 2018 at 6:02 pm by ignoramus.)
^ [Image: 2mhb3l.jpg]
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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vulcanlogician Offline
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#2909
RE: joke time
November 13, 2018 at 7:58 pm
Quote:Richard Feynman said: "Physics is to mathematics as sex is to masturbation"

Student : "So you're saying both fields are good, but without an attempt to understand the universe, the search for deeper mathematical truth is empty?"

Professor : "I'm saying you'll spend most of undergrad doing math."
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Fireball Offline
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#2910
RE: joke time
November 13, 2018 at 8:56 pm
(November 13, 2018 at 7:58 pm)vulcanlogician Wrote:
Quote:Richard Feynman said: "Physics is to mathematics as sex is to masturbation"

Student : "So you're saying both fields are good, but without an attempt to understand the universe, the search for deeper mathematical truth is empty?"

Professor : "I'm saying you'll spend most of undergrad doing math."

I keep putting my logic grinding wheel against this vignette, but I just keep glancing off, getting only sparks. Maybe it'll sink in, eventually. Huh
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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