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RE: joke time
April 12, 2021 at 6:15 am
Q: What's the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
A: A literalist takes things literally, and a kleptomaniac takes things - literally.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
April 12, 2021 at 2:29 pm
A lawyer, after 30 years serving in the courts, decides to retire and open his own watering hole on the river front.
He named it "The Side Bar".
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RE: joke time
April 13, 2021 at 6:29 am
Police have warned Man United fans not to bring flares to the final.
Because that's what they wore the last time they were at Wembley...
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
April 13, 2021 at 6:30 am
I have a new pair of shoes made of Lego.
Now, if I step on Lego blocks I don't get hurt...
...just taller.
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
April 13, 2021 at 6:54 am
What do Latin speakers have in common with necrophiliacs?
They both have an interest in dead tongues.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
April 13, 2021 at 1:59 pm
They told me that never giving up is manly. Thats why I am never giving up on cocaine.
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RE: joke time
April 13, 2021 at 4:54 pm
(This post was last modified: April 13, 2021 at 4:54 pm by The Valkyrie.)
Teacher: "Can I help you, sir?"
Iggy: "Yes, I'm here for the self-help class."
Teacher: "And which class is that?"
Iggy (whispers): "Premature ejaculation."
Teacher: "That's next week."
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
April 13, 2021 at 4:55 pm
I'm not an expert on masturbation.
But I can hold my own.
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
April 13, 2021 at 6:06 pm
‘I’ve named my testicles. I call them “The Hemsworth Brothers” because they look great and everyone’s surprised there’s a third one.’ - John Oliver
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
April 14, 2021 at 5:24 am
Which mythological creature casts no reflection?
Dying to live, living to die.