Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 15, 2024, 11:25 am
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
joke time
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
*******
Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 35310
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#4851
RE: joke time
April 25, 2021 at 6:09 am
At a boat pond.

"Come in, number 9, your time is up!"

"Boss, we only have 8 boats."

"Boat number 6, are you in trouble?"

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
*******
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 46311
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#4852
RE: joke time
April 25, 2021 at 7:01 am
You can tell a lot about a woman from her hands. For example, if they're around your throat, she's probably slightly upset with you.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Find
Reply
vulcanlogician Offline
δικαιοσύνη
****
Religious Views: I Grok Spock
Posts: 5813
Threads: 86
Joined: November 19, 2017
Reputation: 59
#4853
RE: joke time
April 25, 2021 at 11:39 am
God tells these 3 guys that the vehicle they'll be driving around in heaven will be a reflection of how faithful they were to their wives.

The first guy was cheating on his wife like every month, so God gave him a Chevy to drive around in heaven.

The second guy cheated on his wife once or twice over the years, but overall was pretty faithful, so God gave him an Acura to drive around in heaven.

The third guy never cheated on his wife at all and was the most faithful he could have possibly been, so God gave him a Rolls-Royce to drive around in heaven.

Sometime later, the first and second guy found the third guy sitting down crying. When they asked him what was wrong, he said "I just saw my wife riding down the road on a skateboard."
Find
Reply
A. Secular Human Offline
Grand Poobah, Atheist Nerds of the U. S.
***
Religious Views: God who?
Posts: 1605
Threads: 0
Joined: October 2, 2018
Reputation: 11
#4854
RE: joke time
April 25, 2021 at 6:38 pm (This post was last modified: April 25, 2021 at 6:40 pm by A. Secular Human.)
(April 24, 2021 at 4:42 am)The Valkyrie Wrote:
(April 24, 2021 at 3:49 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Pornography poses a great societal danger. It gives young people an unhealthy and unrealistic idea of how long it takes a plumber to get to your house.

Boru

And an over abundance of guys who want to become pizza delivery boys...

...who want to deliver 95% of a pizza...
(April 24, 2021 at 2:57 pm)purplepurpose Wrote: God is perfect and just.

Yup. Perfectly abhorrent and just imaginary.
Disappointing theists since 1968!
Find
Reply
Darinda Offline
Member
***
Religious Views: None
Posts: 572
Threads: 2
Joined: October 30, 2009
Reputation: 13
#4855
RE: joke time
April 25, 2021 at 11:08 pm
Two Texans were out on the range talking about their favourite sex positions.

One said, " think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."

"I don't think I have ever heard of that one," said the other cowboy. "What is it ?"

"Well, it's where you get your wife down on all fours and you mount her from behind.

Then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear: "These feel just like your sister's."

Then you try and stay on for 8 seconds.
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
*******
Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 35310
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#4856
RE: joke time
April 26, 2021 at 3:12 am
I've tried taking pictures of myself while taking a hot shower but I can never get a clear picture.

I have serious selfie steam issues.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
*******
Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 35310
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#4857
RE: joke time
April 26, 2021 at 11:21 am (This post was last modified: April 26, 2021 at 11:22 am by The Valkyrie.)
If Cinderella had been a cooking slave instead of a cleaning slave, would she have been named Mozarella?

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
*******
Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 35310
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#4858
RE: joke time
April 26, 2021 at 12:34 pm
My friend Sid had his ID stolen.

Sorry to hear that, S.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
onlinebiker Offline
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: cynical S.O.B.
Posts: 9538
Threads: 410
Joined: October 3, 2018
Reputation: 17
#4859
RE: joke time
April 26, 2021 at 12:45 pm
(April 26, 2021 at 3:12 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: I've tried taking pictures of myself while taking a hot shower but I can never get a clear picture.

I have serious selfie steam issues.
Pics or it didn't happen....

Cool
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
*******
Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 35310
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#4860
RE: joke time
April 26, 2021 at 1:27 pm
(April 26, 2021 at 12:45 pm)onlinebiker Wrote:
(April 26, 2021 at 3:12 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: I've tried taking pictures of myself while taking a hot shower but I can never get a clear picture.

I have serious selfie steam issues.
Pics or it didn't happen....

Cool



Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2748 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 3310 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1607 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2539 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 18800 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 4743 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 9434 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1993 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4844 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 3050 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 15 Guest(s)