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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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joke time
downbeatplumb Offline
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#1641
RE: joke time
May 27, 2017 at 6:54 am
Communists do not drink PG tips.



Because all proper tea is theft.



You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.

Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.




 








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Brian37 Offline
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#1642
RE: joke time
May 27, 2017 at 1:08 pm (This post was last modified: May 27, 2017 at 1:11 pm by Brian37.)
I like how Americans can be innovative, but why wont anyone invest in my idea of stringless parachutes?

Ok, how about a Jewish/Muslim barbecue joint?

What about a nudist camp where cloths are required?

THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX FOLKS!

But you know what really pisses me off about America? We put humans on the moon but we cant put a "free" button on a cash register.
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
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Cyberman Away
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#1643
RE: joke time
May 27, 2017 at 1:24 pm
In what country does sheep fall from the sky?


At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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Rhondazvous Offline
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#1644
RE: joke time
May 28, 2017 at 4:23 pm (This post was last modified: May 28, 2017 at 5:05 pm by Rhondazvous.)
(May 24, 2017 at 7:24 pm)Minimalist Wrote:
Quote:A Wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy a carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had avocados."

If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again.
Men will get it the first time.

No, I got it the first time. But I imagine men will say, "So, he did what she asked. Where's the punchline?"
Where was the very first chicken fried?

The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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ignoramus Offline
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#1645
RE: joke time
June 1, 2017 at 7:24 am
I'm calling my wife "Google" from now on.

Every time I start to say something, she wants to suggest something else! sheesh...
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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Brian37 Offline
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#1646
RE: joke time
June 1, 2017 at 8:05 am
Siri, what does "Covfefe" mean?

Siri, "Our president is a fucking idiot".
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
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downbeatplumb Offline
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#1647
RE: joke time
June 1, 2017 at 12:53 pm
(June 1, 2017 at 8:05 am)Brian37 Wrote: Siri, what does "Covfefe" mean?

Siri, "Our president is a fucking idiot".

Covfefe means covfefe.

One for the brexiteers there.



You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.

Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.




 








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Cyberman Away
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#1648
RE: joke time
June 1, 2017 at 1:03 pm
Putting a bottle of aftershave in a freezer overnight and then drinking the rarefied alcohol makes explaining why you did it so much easier.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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ignoramus Offline
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#1649
RE: joke time
June 2, 2017 at 8:57 am
That's it. Now I'm buying the wife a plunger because she loves bringing up old shit!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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Mr.Obvious Offline
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#1650
RE: joke time
June 2, 2017 at 9:06 am
(August 7, 2014 at 11:39 pm)ignoramus Wrote: How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
(WIP. Best answer gets big kudos and a sloppy kiss from Losty!)

Attempt #1

None, they like being kept in the dark.

None, they all claim to have seen the light.
"If we go down, we go down together!"
- Your mum, last night, suggesting 69.
[Image: 41bebac06973488da2b0740b6ac37538.jpg]-
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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