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Current time: December 15, 2024, 11:02 am

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joke time
RE: joke time
Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a duck,
She put them on the mantelpiece,
To see if they'd fall off.


Mary had a little lamb,
It's fleece was green as grass,
And every time it sneezed.
Flames shot out it's arse.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
My therapist told me to write letters to people I hate and then burn them.

I did that. Now I don't know what to do with their bloody letters!

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
Guy is walking around the kitchen with a flyswatter. Wife walks in and inquires, "Killing flies?". He says, "Yes, I've killed three males and two females!". Of course she asks, "How do you know!?", to which he replies, "Three were on a beer can, and two were on the phone."
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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RE: joke time
What do you get when you cross GPS with PMS?

A crazy bitch who WILL track you down.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
God, I'm getting old...
I haven't fucked a priest in two decades.
"If we go down, we go down together!"
- Your mum, last night, suggesting 69.
[Image: 41bebac06973488da2b0740b6ac37538.jpg]-
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RE: joke time
There was an international conference of the CEOs of beer companies held in Ireland.

During his speech, the CEO of Budweiser opened a bud light and drank it.

During his speech, the CEO of Coors opened up a coors light and drank that.

During his speech, the CEO of Heineken cracked open a Heineken light and drank that.

After this, the CEO of Guinness gave his speech, opening up a can of Coca Cola and drinking that.

This drew astonished gasps from the other gathered beer company CEOs, who asked for an explanation.

The Guinness CEO said, "Well, if you fellas aren't going to drink beer during your speeches, then neither will I."

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
(August 10, 2017 at 7:16 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: There was an international conference of the CEOs of beer companies held in Ireland.

During his speech, the CEO of Budweiser opened a bud light and drank it.

During his speech, the CEO of Coors opened up a coors light and drank that.

During his speech, the CEO of Heineken cracked open a Heineken light and drank that.

After this, the CEO of Guinness gave his speech, opening up a can of Coca Cola and drinking that.

This drew astonished gasps from the other gathered beer company CEOs, who asked for an explanation.

The Guinness CEO said, "Well, if you fellas aren't going to drink beer during your speeches, then neither will I."

That took me a few seconds to get. HA HA HA HA

Actually there is a great American beer, Yungling and it is a dark beer too.

Fosters has a dark beer too, that is pretty good too.

But my favorite which I cannot find in this area is Saporo Dark, Japanese dark beer.
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RE: joke time
(August 10, 2017 at 7:37 pm)Brian37 Wrote:
(August 10, 2017 at 7:16 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: There was an international conference of the CEOs of beer companies held in Ireland.

During his speech, the CEO of Budweiser opened a bud light and drank it.

During his speech, the CEO of Coors opened up a coors light and drank that.

During his speech, the CEO of Heineken cracked open a Heineken light and drank that.

After this, the CEO of Guinness gave his speech, opening up a can of Coca Cola and drinking that.

This drew astonished gasps from the other gathered beer company CEOs, who asked for an explanation.

The Guinness CEO said, "Well, if you fellas aren't going to drink beer during your speeches, then neither will I."

That took me a few seconds to get. HA HA HA HA

Actually there is a great American beer, Yungling and it is a dark beer too.

Fosters has a dark beer too, that is pretty good too.

But my favorite which I cannot find in this area is Saporo Dark, Japanese dark beer.

I've never tried Japanese beer.

I found a place in Devonport that does nice food and has Kilkenny, as well.  That's one of my favourites.

But considering one can of beer was nearly half the price of the entire meal...

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
Tried some sake for the first time the other day, at a noodle bar I've always promised I'd try. Two quid for an eggcupful of hot alcohol, but it was quite nice.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
(August 11, 2017 at 11:39 am)Cyberman Wrote: Tried some sake for the first time the other day, at a noodle bar I've always promised I'd try. Two quid for an eggcupful of hot alcohol, but it was quite nice.

I've had sake exactly once. in a Korean Barbeque in Paris. That's right dudes, I used to have a life.



You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.

Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.




 








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