joke time

[Brian37]

My friends get made when I steal their kitchen utensils, but it's a whisk I'm willing to take.

Boru

He's the king of cornball, there is none lower, other MCs will call him slower. 

Translation, "Damn, I wish I had thought of that." 

[chimp3]

You don't need a parachute to go skydiving.
You need a parachute to go skydiving twice!


A friend of mine that skydived for fun had a plaque in his kitchen that said: 

"He who hesitates inherits the earth!"

---

What's the difference between me and eggs?
Eggs are getting laid!

[Haipule]

You should see how we in Hawaii prepare a tako(octopus) for grilling! It is covered in Hawaiian salt and beaten to death. But, man is it good!

[Brian37]

You don't need a parachute to go skydiving.
You need a parachute to go skydiving twice!


A friend of mine that skydived for fun had a plaque in his kitchen that said: 

"He who hesitates inherits the earth!"

---

What's the difference between me and eggs?
Eggs are getting laid!

HA HA HA SOOOO TRUE........ It isn't the fall that kills you, it is the sudden stop.

[Fireball]

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving probably isn't your sport.

[vulcanlogician]

In a town in Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the bull's testicles.

One night, after a bullfight, the mayor asks the waiter, "Funny, why are they so small today?"

"Sir, today the bull won."

[Haipule]

In a town in Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the bull's testicles.

One night, after a bullfight, the mayor asks the waiter, "Funny, why are they so small today?"

"Sir, today the bull won."

Dude! I haven't laughed that hard in a long time! My guts ache! I can't stop laughing!

[Fireball]

Years ago, my wife and I were awakened at 3 o’clock early one Saturday morning by a loud pounding on the door. I got up and went to the door where I saw a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain. “Give us a push” says the swaying stranger. “Not a chance,” I reply, “It is three o’clock in the morning.” I slammed the door and returned to bed. “Who was that?” my wife asked. “Just some ol’ drunk asking for a push,” I answered. “Did you help him?” She asked. “No. I did not. It is three o’clock in the morning and it is pouring down rain outside. Next my wife reminded me, “Don’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself. I did as I was told. I got dressed and went out into the pouring rain. I call out into the dark, “Hello! Are you still there?” “Yes,” comes back the answer. “Do you still need a push?” now soaked from the rain. “Yes. Please.” came the reply from the darkness. “Where are you?” I asked. “Over here on the swing,” replies the drunk.

[chimp3]

When shooting mimes, use a silencer!

[vulcanlogician]

What does a deadhead say when he runs out of drugs?

This music sucks.