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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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joke time
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#3191
RE: joke time
June 23, 2019 at 9:51 am
I bet barn owls were totally stoked when someone finally invented the barn.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#3192
RE: joke time
June 24, 2019 at 8:10 am
A woman is just getting out of the shower as her husband is getting in, when the doorbell rings.  Quickly wrapping a towel around her, she rushes downstairs.  She opens the door and it's Bob, the next-door neighbour.

After an awkward silence, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'  She thinks for a few seconds and drops it.  Bob takes a good long look, hands her the money and leaves.

When she returns upstairs, her husband asks who was at the door.

'Just our neighbour Bob,' she answers.

'Great! Did he happen to mention the $800 he owes me?'

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#3193
RE: joke time
June 25, 2019 at 7:28 am
Her:  'My gynecologist said I can't have sex for a month.'

Me: 'That's a shame. *pause*  What did your dentist say?'

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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Brian37 Offline
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#3194
RE: joke time
June 27, 2019 at 9:53 am
A real line from TV add for "Viking Cruise lines"

"Alternative dining'....... 

What does that mean? Instead of eating food you eat broken glass?
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#3195
RE: joke time
June 27, 2019 at 11:57 am
(June 27, 2019 at 9:53 am)Brian37 Wrote: A real line from TV add for "Viking Cruise lines"

"Alternative dining'....... 

What does that mean? Instead of eating food you eat broken glass?

No, that would be 'alternative eating'.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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chimp3 Offline Donators
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#3196
RE: joke time
June 29, 2019 at 8:43 pm
Went shopping for cherries and a microphone. Bought a Bing. Bought a boom.
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!






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Haipule Offline
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#3197
RE: joke time
June 30, 2019 at 3:05 pm
All other forms of music sound like scissors to me. They always lose to rock!
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well...she's not my girlfriend "yet".

I discovered a new vitamin that fights cancer. I call it ...B9

I also invented a diet pill. It works great but had to quit taking it because of the side effects. Turns out my penis is larger and my hair grew back. And whoa! If you think my hair is nice!

When does size truly matter? When it's TOO big!

I'm currently working on a new pill I call "Destenze". However...now my shoes don't fit.
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#3198
RE: joke time
July 1, 2019 at 7:11 pm
Sunday - Greg

Monday - Ian

Tuesday - Greg

Wednesday - Ian

Thursday - Greg

Friday - Ian

Saturday - Greg




Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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Brian37 Offline
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#3199
RE: joke time
July 2, 2019 at 1:32 am
I just realized, stalkers are "pine" nuts.
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
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Cod Offline
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#3200
RE: joke time
July 2, 2019 at 7:29 am
I used to date a twin. People always asked how I could tell them apart, it was easy Jane my girlfriend always painted her nails purple, and Ronald had a beard.
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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