Posts: 51336
Threads: 560
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
June 24, 2019 at 8:10 am
A woman is just getting out of the shower as her husband is getting in, when the doorbell rings. Quickly wrapping a towel around her, she rushes downstairs. She opens the door and it's Bob, the next-door neighbour.
After an awkward silence, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' She thinks for a few seconds and drops it. Bob takes a good long look, hands her the money and leaves.
When she returns upstairs, her husband asks who was at the door.
'Just our neighbour Bob,' she answers.
'Great! Did he happen to mention the $800 he owes me?'
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 51336
Threads: 560
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
June 25, 2019 at 7:28 am
Her: 'My gynecologist said I can't have sex for a month.'
Me: 'That's a shame. *pause* What did your dentist say?'
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 30739
Threads: 2127
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: joke time
June 27, 2019 at 9:53 am
A real line from TV add for "Viking Cruise lines"
"Alternative dining'.......
What does that mean? Instead of eating food you eat broken glass?
Posts: 51336
Threads: 560
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
June 27, 2019 at 11:57 am
(June 27, 2019 at 9:53 am)Brian37 Wrote: A real line from TV add for "Viking Cruise lines"
"Alternative dining'.......
What does that mean? Instead of eating food you eat broken glass?
No, that would be 'alternative eating'.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 5664
Threads: 219
Joined: June 20, 2016
Reputation:
61
RE: joke time
June 29, 2019 at 8:43 pm
Went shopping for cherries and a microphone. Bought a Bing. Bought a boom.
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!
Posts: 879
Threads: 57
Joined: November 8, 2017
Reputation:
6
RE: joke time
June 30, 2019 at 3:05 pm
All other forms of music sound like scissors to me. They always lose to rock!
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well...she's not my girlfriend "yet".
I discovered a new vitamin that fights cancer. I call it ...B9
I also invented a diet pill. It works great but had to quit taking it because of the side effects. Turns out my penis is larger and my hair grew back. And whoa! If you think my hair is nice!
When does size truly matter? When it's TOO big!
I'm currently working on a new pill I call "Destenze". However...now my shoes don't fit.
Posts: 51336
Threads: 560
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
July 1, 2019 at 7:11 pm
Sunday - Greg
Monday - Ian
Tuesday - Greg
Wednesday - Ian
Thursday - Greg
Friday - Ian
Saturday - Greg
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 30739
Threads: 2127
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: joke time
July 2, 2019 at 1:32 am
I just realized, stalkers are "pine" nuts.
Posts: 2379
Threads: 43
Joined: October 30, 2017
Reputation:
48
RE: joke time
July 2, 2019 at 7:29 am
I used to date a twin. People always asked how I could tell them apart, it was easy Jane my girlfriend always painted her nails purple, and Ronald had a beard.
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation:
110
RE: joke time
July 4, 2019 at 7:05 am
Spock had 3 ears. The left ear, the right ear and the final ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.