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Current time: December 15, 2024, 5:50 pm

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joke time
RE: joke time
I bet barn owls were totally stoked when someone finally invented the barn.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
A woman is just getting out of the shower as her husband is getting in, when the doorbell rings.  Quickly wrapping a towel around her, she rushes downstairs.  She opens the door and it's Bob, the next-door neighbour.

After an awkward silence, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'  She thinks for a few seconds and drops it.  Bob takes a good long look, hands her the money and leaves.

When she returns upstairs, her husband asks who was at the door.

'Just our neighbour Bob,' she answers.

'Great! Did he happen to mention the $800 he owes me?'

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
Her:  'My gynecologist said I can't have sex for a month.'

Me: 'That's a shame. *pause*  What did your dentist say?'

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
A real line from TV add for "Viking Cruise lines"

"Alternative dining'....... 

What does that mean? Instead of eating food you eat broken glass?
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RE: joke time
(June 27, 2019 at 9:53 am)Brian37 Wrote: A real line from TV add for "Viking Cruise lines"

"Alternative dining'....... 

What does that mean? Instead of eating food you eat broken glass?

No, that would be 'alternative eating'.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
Went shopping for cherries and a microphone. Bought a Bing. Bought a boom.
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!






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RE: joke time
All other forms of music sound like scissors to me. They always lose to rock!
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well...she's not my girlfriend "yet".

I discovered a new vitamin that fights cancer. I call it ...B9

I also invented a diet pill. It works great but had to quit taking it because of the side effects. Turns out my penis is larger and my hair grew back. And whoa! If you think my hair is nice!

When does size truly matter? When it's TOO big!

I'm currently working on a new pill I call "Destenze". However...now my shoes don't fit.
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RE: joke time
Sunday - Greg

Monday - Ian

Tuesday - Greg

Wednesday - Ian

Thursday - Greg

Friday - Ian

Saturday - Greg




Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
I just realized, stalkers are "pine" nuts.
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RE: joke time
I used to date a twin. People always asked how I could tell them apart, it was easy Jane my girlfriend always painted her nails purple, and Ronald had a beard.
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