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RE: joke time
June 28, 2021 at 10:16 am
A flat-chested young lady went to Dr.Rustom about enlarging her breasts.
Dr Rustom advised her 'Every day after your shower, rub your chest and say,
'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!'
She did this faithfully for several months!
To her utter amazement she grew terrific D-cup boobs!
One morning she was running late, got on the bus, and in a panic realized she had
forgotten her morning ritual.
Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little rhyme, she
stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus, closed her eyes and said,
'Scooby doobie, doobies, I want bigger boobies.'
A guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked 'Oh! Are you a patient of Dr. 'Rustom's?'
'Yes I am.. How did you know?'
He winked and replied,
"Hickory dickory dock...."
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RE: joke time
June 28, 2021 at 11:34 pm
“Last Sunday I found a wallet packed with money down by the church.”
“Did you give it back?”
“Not yet. I’m still trying to decide if it’s a temptation from the devil or the answer to a prayer.”
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RE: joke time
June 29, 2021 at 12:29 pm
(This post was last modified: June 29, 2021 at 12:31 pm by purplepurpose.)
They say that China is a rising force in every aspect. And they are getting bold with their military. Fear not. I have went trough 6 virtual world wars in games. Watched tons of anime and porn. Have tactical armor/nutrition supply in the form of big belly. Chinese won't see what hit them when I enlist in the military.
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RE: joke time
June 29, 2021 at 6:17 pm
An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cursed her.
“Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn’t ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?”
The girl, crying, replied, “Sniff, sniff….dad….I became a prostitute….”
“Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You’re a disgrace to this family.”
“OK, dad – as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million.”
“For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that’s parked outside plus a membership to the country club….(takes a breath)….and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years’ Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and….”
“Now what was it ye said ye had become?” says dad.
Girl, crying again, “Sniff, sniff….a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff.”
“Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug.
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RE: joke time
June 30, 2021 at 8:53 am
Patient 1: “Why did you run away from the operation table?”
Patient 2: “The nurse was repeatedly saying: ‘don’t get nervous’, ‘don’t be afraid’, ‘be strong’, ‘this is a small operation only’, things like that.”
Patient 1: “So what was wrong in that? Why were you so afraid?”
Patient 2: “She was talking to the surgeon!”
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RE: joke time
June 30, 2021 at 5:38 pm
Me, walking into a carpet store, "I need to buy a rug."
Employee, "Ha. Are you going to wrap a body in it?"
Me, "Shit. Now I need two rugs!"
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
June 30, 2021 at 11:01 pm
(This post was last modified: June 30, 2021 at 11:02 pm by A. Secular Human.)
(June 30, 2021 at 5:38 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Me, walking into a carpet store, "I need to buy a rug."
Employee, "Ha. Are you going to wrap a body in it?"
Me, "Shit. Now I need two rugs!"
Ummm...Miss "Stabby Titz"...are those yours?
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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RE: joke time
June 30, 2021 at 11:57 pm
(This post was last modified: June 30, 2021 at 11:58 pm by ignoramus.)
No! The knife is way too small! 
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: joke time
July 1, 2021 at 12:02 am
(June 30, 2021 at 11:01 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote: (June 30, 2021 at 5:38 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Me, walking into a carpet store, "I need to buy a rug."
Employee, "Ha. Are you going to wrap a body in it?"
Me, "Shit. Now I need two rugs!"
Ummm...Miss "Stabby Titz"...are those yours?
No.
I just like the symbology
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
July 1, 2021 at 6:17 am
(June 30, 2021 at 11:01 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote: (June 30, 2021 at 5:38 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Me, walking into a carpet store, "I need to buy a rug."
Employee, "Ha. Are you going to wrap a body in it?"
Me, "Shit. Now I need two rugs!"
Ummm...Miss "Stabby Titz"...are those yours?
I vote for Stabby Titz if Valk ever decides to change her forum name.
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