joke time

[The Valkyrie]

Ummm...Miss "Stabby Titz"...are those yours?

I vote for Stabby Titz if Valk ever decides to change her forum name.

I can get behind that.

Though I'd need a bigger knife in my avatar.

[arewethereyet]

I vote for Stabby Titz if Valk ever decides to change her forum name.

I can get behind that.

Though I'd need a bigger knife in my avatar.

It's not the size of the knife...it's where you put it.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I can get behind that.

Though I'd need a bigger knife in my avatar.

It's not the size of the knife...it's where you put it.

That’s what women tell men with tiny knives.

Boru

[onlinebiker]

It's not the size of the knife...it's where you put it.

That’s what women tell men with tiny knives.

Boru

Really?

How do you know THAT?


It' s the first I have heard of it........

[ignoramus]

have you at least heard of uphemisms?

[A. Secular Human]

Ummm...Miss "Stabby Titz"...are those yours?

No.

I just like the symbology

Me too...and I always appreciate a nice pair.

---

have you at least heard of uphemisms?

Is one of those above a euphemism?

[Darinda]

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, “Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.”

The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone.

However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, “Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer.

“That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: “That’s Strange!”

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

To make things easier on myself, I've changed all my passwords to 'kenny'.

That's right - I now have kenny logins.

Boru

[Darinda]

Conjoined twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please."
 
The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on vacation yet, fellas?"
"Off to England next month," says John. "We go to England every year, rent a car, and drive for miles and miles, don't we, Jim?"
 
Jim nods. "Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country...the history, the culture, and especially the beer"
 
"Nah, we don't like that British crap," says John. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's for us, eh Jim? And we can't stand the English people, they're so arrogant and rude."
 
"So why keep going to England?" asks the bartender.
 
John replies: "Gives Jim a chance to drive."

---

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome, Italy. One has a Cross in front of him; the other one is holding the Star of David. Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the Cross.

The Pope comes by. He stops to watch the throngs of people giving money to the beggar who holds the Cross while none give to the beggar holding the Star of David.

Finally, the Pope approaches the beggar with the Star of David and says, "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who is holding a Cross. In fact,they would probably give more money to him just out of spite."

The beggar with the Star of David listened to the Pope, smiled, and turned to the beggar with the Cross and said, "Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing!"

[Darinda]

A Priest says to his friend, the Rabbi, that he has a perfect way of eating for free in restaurants. "I go in at well past 9 o'clock in the evening, eat several courses slowly, linger over coffee, a glass of port and a cigar. Come 2 o'clock in the morning, as they are clearing everything away to close up, I just keep sitting there until eventually a waiter comes up and asks me to pay. Then I say: 'I've already paid your colleague who has left.' Because I am a man of the cloth, they take my word for it, and I leave."
 
The Rabbi is impressed, and says, "Let's try it together this evening."
 
So the Priest books them into a restaurant and come 2 o'clock they are both still quietly sitting there after a very full meal.
 
Sure enough, a waiter comes over and asks them to pay. The Priest just says, "I've already paid your colleague who has left."
 
And the Rabbi adds, "And we are still waiting for the change".