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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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joke time
Fireball Offline
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#5691
RE: joke time
January 14, 2022 at 12:50 am
(January 13, 2022 at 10:51 pm)polymath257 Wrote:
(January 13, 2022 at 9:36 pm)Fireball Wrote: I gave this kudos after two women did. Hope I'm safe.  <.<  >.>

Going after two women is *never* safe.

Panic
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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A. Secular Human Offline
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#5692
RE: joke time
January 14, 2022 at 9:01 pm (This post was last modified: January 14, 2022 at 9:05 pm by A. Secular Human.)
(January 13, 2022 at 10:51 pm)polymath257 Wrote:
(January 13, 2022 at 9:36 pm)Fireball Wrote: I gave this kudos after two women did. Hope I'm safe.  <.<  >.>

Going after two women is *never* safe.

But *coming* after two women, and you're a fucking god!
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#5693
RE: joke time
January 15, 2022 at 7:14 am
Technically, it's only a 'murder' of crows if you can establish probable caws.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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Darinda Offline
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#5694
RE: joke time
January 15, 2022 at 10:34 am
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?”

“Eight,” the boy replied.

The man continued, “Do you know what these are used for?”

The boy replied, “Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They’re for him. He’s my brother. He’s four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do either one.”
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#5695
RE: joke time
January 15, 2022 at 1:20 pm
A mate and I got to talking when I asked him if he could list all his sexual partners. He started counting and fell asleep.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#5696
RE: joke time
January 16, 2022 at 5:39 am
Did you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping next to you, and just be glad you're alive? I did, and apparently I'm not allowed to fly on that airline anymore.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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Darinda Offline
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#5697
RE: joke time
January 16, 2022 at 9:52 am
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses legs and rump, and chest…
After a few minutes, Johnny asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?”
His father replied, “Because when I am buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.”
Johnny, looking worried, said, “Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom.”
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#5698
RE: joke time
January 17, 2022 at 4:24 am
Me: 'No. NO! This is people food, not cat food. You have your own food, eat your own food. I'm not sharing my food with you.'

Cat: *all I hear is the word 'food' over and over*

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#5699
RE: joke time
January 17, 2022 at 6:07 am
(January 17, 2022 at 4:24 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Me: 'No. NO! This is people food, not cat food. You have your own food, eat your own food. I'm not sharing my food with you.'

Cat: *all I hear is the word 'food' over and over*

Boru

[Image: FIzveh-HXo-AU5g-Ax.jpg]
Dying to live, living to die.
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#5700
RE: joke time
January 17, 2022 at 7:08 am (This post was last modified: January 17, 2022 at 9:36 am by The Valkyrie.)
Three drunk guys got into a taxi and asked for a ride.

Realising just how drunk they were, the driver switched on his engine, drove a couple of metres, and switched off again, announcing they'd reached their destination.

The first drunk paid the driver and got out.

The second drunk thanked the driver and got out.

The third drunk reached forward and slapped the driver on the shoulder.

Thinking his ruse had been discovered, the driver started to apologise when the third drunk interrupted him.

"Next time, watch your speed!"
Dying to live, living to die.
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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