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joke time
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 (January 13, 2022 at 10:51 pm)polymath257 Wrote:(January 13, 2022 at 9:36 pm)Fireball Wrote: I gave this kudos after two women did. Hope I'm safe. <.< >.> 
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
 RE: joke time
January 14, 2022 at 9:01 pm
(This post was last modified: January 14, 2022 at 9:05 pm by A. Secular Human.)
(January 13, 2022 at 10:51 pm)polymath257 Wrote:(January 13, 2022 at 9:36 pm)Fireball Wrote: I gave this kudos after two women did. Hope I'm safe. <.< >.> But *coming* after two women, and you're a fucking god!
Disappointing theists since 1968!
Technically, it's only a 'murder' of crows if you can establish probable caws.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?” “Eight,” the boy replied. The man continued, “Do you know what these are used for?” The boy replied, “Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They’re for him. He’s my brother. He’s four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do either one.”
A mate and I got to talking when I asked him if he could list all his sexual partners. He started counting and fell asleep.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Did you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping next to you, and just be glad you're alive? I did, and apparently I'm not allowed to fly on that airline anymore.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses legs and rump, and chest…
After a few minutes, Johnny asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?” His father replied, “Because when I am buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.” Johnny, looking worried, said, “Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom.”
Me: 'No. NO! This is people food, not cat food. You have your own food, eat your own food. I'm not sharing my food with you.'
Cat: *all I hear is the word 'food' over and over* Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
 (January 17, 2022 at 4:24 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Me: 'No. NO! This is people food, not cat food. You have your own food, eat your own food. I'm not sharing my food with you.' ![[Image: FIzveh-HXo-AU5g-Ax.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/89QZy1S/FIzveh-HXo-AU5g-Ax.jpg)
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" RE: joke time
January 17, 2022 at 7:08 am
(This post was last modified: January 17, 2022 at 9:36 am by The Valkyrie.)
Three drunk guys got into a taxi and asked for a ride.
Realising just how drunk they were, the driver switched on his engine, drove a couple of metres, and switched off again, announcing they'd reached their destination. The first drunk paid the driver and got out. The second drunk thanked the driver and got out. The third drunk reached forward and slapped the driver on the shoulder. Thinking his ruse had been discovered, the driver started to apologise when the third drunk interrupted him. "Next time, watch your speed!" Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" |
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