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RE: joke time
January 23, 2022 at 4:23 pm
An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor’s office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, “Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?”
“There’s something wrong with my d*ck,” he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, “You shouldn’t come into a crowded office and say things like that.”
“Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you, he said.”
The receptionist replied, “You’ve obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private.”
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, “Yes?”
“There’s something wrong with my ear,” he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.
“And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?”
“I can’t piss out of it, the man replied.”
The doctor’s office erupted in laughter
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RE: joke time
January 23, 2022 at 8:56 pm
Anti-jokes are best jokes.
Schopenhauer Wrote:The intellect has become free, and in this state it does not even know or understand any other interest than that of truth.
Epicurus Wrote:The greatest reward of righteousness is peace of mind.
Epicurus Wrote:Don't fear god,
Don't worry about death;
What is good is easy to get,
What is terrible is easy to endure
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RE: joke time
January 24, 2022 at 6:37 am
On their way home from the pub, two tipsy women sneak into a graveyard for a pee. One woman uses her panties to wipe with then throws them away, while the other woman pulls a ribbon from a nearby wreath for the same purpose.
The next day, one husband calls the other and says, 'My wife came home last night without her underwear!'
'That's nothing,' says his friend. 'MY wife came home with a card between her bum cheeks that read, "From all the lads at Fire Station 22 - We'll never forget everything you did for us"!'
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
January 24, 2022 at 9:51 am
A newlywed couple lay in bed one morning husband says: “How about you go brew us some coffee?”
Wife: “That’s your job.”
Hasband: “Says who?”
Wife : “The bible, it’s on just about every page.”
Husband: “The bible don’t say anything about brewing coffee.”
Wife (Holding her Bible flipping pages): “See every page Hebrews, Hebrews, hebrews.”
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RE: joke time
January 24, 2022 at 11:40 pm
One night a lady came home from her weekly prayer meeting, found she was being robbed, and she shouted out, “Acts 2:38: ‘Repent & be baptized & your sins will be forgiven.'”
The robber quickly gave up & the lady rang the police.
While handcuffing the criminal, a policeman said, “Gee mate, you gave up pretty easily. How come you gave up so quickly?”
The robber said, “She said she had an axe and two 38’s!”
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RE: joke time
January 25, 2022 at 6:00 am
(This post was last modified: January 25, 2022 at 6:01 am by BrianSoddingBoru4.)
I recently ran across a recipe from Morocco for herbed dinner rolls. The recipe specified fresh thyme - mine was outdated but I used it anyway. The rolls were very tasty. In fact, you might say...
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
January 25, 2022 at 2:10 pm
Went for a walk past a farm with my new girlfriend and we saw dogs mating.
She said: "How does the male know when the female is ready for sex?"
I replied: "He can smell she is ready. That's how nature works."
We then walked past a sheep field and the ram was mating the ewe.
Again my girlfriend asked: "How does the ram knew when the ewe is ready for sex?"
I replied: "It's nature. He can smell she is ready."
We then went past another pasture and the bull was mating with the cow.
My girlfriend said: "This is odd. They are really going at it. Surely the bull can't smell when she is ready?"
I said: "Oh, yes; it's nature. All animals can smell when the female is ready for sex."
Anyway, after the walk, I dropped her at home and kissed her *goodbye.*
She said: "Take care and get yourself tested for Covid-19."
Surprised, "Why do you say that?" I asked her.
She replied: *"You seem to have lost your sense of smell."
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RE: joke time
January 25, 2022 at 2:50 pm
(January 25, 2022 at 6:00 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I recently ran across a recipe from Morocco for herbed dinner rolls. The recipe specified fresh thyme - mine was outdated but I used it anyway. The rolls were very tasty. In fact, you might say...
Boru
In Beccovia I'd have you shot.
😇😇
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
January 25, 2022 at 2:51 pm
(January 25, 2022 at 2:50 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: (January 25, 2022 at 6:00 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I recently ran across a recipe from Morocco for herbed dinner rolls. The recipe specified fresh thyme - mine was outdated but I used it anyway. The rolls were very tasty. In fact, you might say...
Boru
In Beccovia I'd have you shot.
😇😇
You mean, like, out of a cannon? Cause I’m ok with that.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
January 25, 2022 at 2:53 pm
(January 25, 2022 at 2:51 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: (January 25, 2022 at 2:50 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: In Beccovia I'd have you shot.
😇😇
You mean, like, out of a cannon? Cause I’m ok with that.
Boru
WITH a cannon is an option.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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