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joke time
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 (April 2, 2022 at 4:08 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: If I were a rapper, my rap name would be 'Gershwin', and I'd release my debut album exclusively on CD with blue cover art. A decomposing composer. Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"  (April 2, 2022 at 4:08 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: If I were a rapper, my rap name would be 'Gershwin', and I'd release my debut album exclusively on CD with blue cover art. Wow. The joke inspired me to listen to the song. (Which I'd apparently already heard before in parts... here and there, I just didn't know it.) But yeah, very nice song. 
Muhammad Ali: 'Float like a butterfly.'
Jellyfish: 'Done.' Ali: 'Sting like a bee.' Jellyfish: 'I am fucking NAILING this.' Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
I told my boss that three companies were after me, so I needed a raise in pay to stay with the current job.
He asked which companies? I told him gas, electric, and cable.
There are some fucking weird people on this forum.
Someone, who will remain unknown, sent me a personal message inviting me to a naked, Satanic, midnight dance and orgy in a forest! And then they didn't even bother to show up. Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Here's three short jokes I found today, cruising through the internet:
I have a bumper sticker that says, "honk if you think I'm sexy"... Why do men give their jacket to women when its cold ? Why did Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand?
I recently learned that there's a rather obscure character in The Iliad named Bophades. Like the better-known Achillies, he is a nearly invincible warrior, but with a weak spot - his groin.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
HUSBAND: “When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?”
WIFE: “Easy!! I clean the toilet.” HUSBAND: “Hmm.. how does that help?” WIFE: “I use your toothbrush.”
"Are you ready for the return of Jesus?"
"Yes, I have a nailgun. Bastard won't escape this time!" Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Yesterday, I bought a bottle of Whiskey and was on my way home on my motorcycle. Suddenly a thought occured to me; What if my motorcycle crashes? What would I drink once I get home?
So I stoopped right then, and gulped the entire bottle down, sitting beside the road. I’ll tell you, that was one of my smartest moves. I crashed 4 times before I reached home yesterday. |
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