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RE: joke time
July 7, 2022 at 8:24 am
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”
The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”
The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze!”
The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”
The first kid says, “A circumcision.”
And the second kid says, “Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn’t walk for a year!”
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RE: joke time
July 7, 2022 at 3:59 pm
Speaking of kids...
Elon Musk just invented a high-speed tunnel for kids to travel from the top of a small ladder to the floor of the playground.
And they're only $10 million each.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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RE: joke time
July 7, 2022 at 5:36 pm
‘Do you know where I can get one of those necklaces with a gold ‘T’ on it?’
‘That’s a cross.’
‘Across from where?’
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
July 11, 2022 at 4:11 am
We've had empires run by emperors.
We've had kingdoms run by kings.
Now we have countries...
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
July 11, 2022 at 9:23 pm
Hey, AWTY, show this to the husband...
![[Image: i0ZqwqU.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/i0ZqwqU.jpg)
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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RE: joke time
July 12, 2022 at 8:57 am
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.”
“But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?”
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said,
“Wedding cake.”
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RE: joke time
July 14, 2022 at 1:05 am
I have a step-ladder at home.
I never really knew my real ladder.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
July 14, 2022 at 10:05 pm
Neighbour, "I sleep with my partner three times a week."
Me, "Really? I only do it once a week."
Neighbour, "I thought you were single?"
Me, "I thought we were talking about your partner?"
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
July 15, 2022 at 3:19 am
Astrology really got between my wife and I. It Taurus apart.
![[Image: clip-art-weekly-muppet-wednesdays-count-...-72938.png]](https://flyclipart.com/thumb2/clip-art-weekly-muppet-wednesdays-count-von-count-72938.png)
