Muhammad Ali: ‘Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee!’
Jellyfish: ‘Nailed it.’
Boru
Jellyfish: ‘Nailed it.’
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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Current time: May 22, 2026, 2:10 pm
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joke time
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A Scotsman phones his boss and says, 'I can't come in today, sir - I have a wee cough.'
'You have a wee cough?' 'Very kind of you, sir. I'll see you in seven days!' Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Frantic phone call:
‘Doctor, my wife’s contractions are only two minutes apart!’ ‘Is this her first child?’ ‘No, you idiot - this is her husband!!’ 
Did you hear about the mushroom that bought everyone a round of drinks at the bar?
I hear he was a fungi to be with. 
People of all ages die from cancer.
Jesus: Love God with all your might.
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them if they were stealing the car. They said “Heavens no, we bought it.”
He said, “Then why don’t you drive it away”. Each of the women said “We can’t drive”. The officer momentarily shook his head and then asked “Then why did you buy it?” They answered, “We were told if we bought a car here, we’d get screwed, so we are just waiting.
I was feeling somewhat ill recently, so I entered my symptoms on Web MD. It seems that I'm suffering from something called 'web connectivity issues'.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
 (January 29, 2023 at 6:36 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I was feeling somewhat ill recently, so I entered my symptoms on Web MD. It seems that I'm suffering from something called 'web connectivity issues'. Probably those damn spider veins again.
Disappointing theists since 1968!
Customer: What’s your WiFi password?
Bartender: You have to buy a drink first. Customer: Seriously? Bartender : *nods* You have to buy a drink first. Customer: Fine, gimme a beer. Bartender: That’ll be $6. Customer: *pays* There. Now, what’s your WiFi password? Bartender: You have to buy a drink first - all lower case, no spaces. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
A mathematician comes home at three in the morning.
His wife has been waiting for him and says angrily, “You’re late. You said you’d be home at 11:45!” “Actually,” the mathematician replies, “I said I’d be home at a quarter of 12.” |
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