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joke time
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 RE: joke time
February 11, 2026 at 12:55 pm
(This post was last modified: February 11, 2026 at 12:55 pm by BrianSoddingBoru4.)
I’ve been collecting miniatures of ancient Egyptian gods. Just one more and I’ll have a complete Set.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
A Russian joke that explains why Russia would never nuke the EU or the US.
One general says to another, “Let’s strike Miami.” “I can’t, my wife and daughter live there.” “Then maybe London?” “No, my grandchildren study there.” “So where are we supposed to strike?” The second general shrugs. “Somewhere our family members don’t live.” “Voronezh, then?”
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
Haiku poems rock
But some of them don’t make sense Refrigerator Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
A girl nervously asks her boyfriend, "Do you like silent movies?"
When he says yes, she lets one rip and whispers, "Enjoy the opening credits."
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
Two hunters are out in the woods when one collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls 911. He gasps, "I think my friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
I'm not anti-Christian. I'm anti-stupid.
Me, "It looks like you're pregnant."
Patient, "I'm pregnant??" Me, "No, it just looks like you are." Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Q: Did you hear about the crazy man, who jumped off the 100th floor of the Empire State Building because he thought he could fly?
A: No; what happened? Q: Well, for 99 floors, he was right.
I'm not anti-Christian. I'm anti-stupid.
Einstein’s girlfriend: ‘I need two things from you - space and time.’
Einstein: ‘Ok. What’s the second thing?’ Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
The chief difference between New Zealand and Australia is that we shear our sheep and the Aussies don’t share their sheep with anyone.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo.
I'm not anti-Christian. I'm anti-stupid.
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