joke time

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

^A man (probably the same one) sits down at the bar and orders a large gin. The barman sees he's got two blacked eyes and a bandage across his clearly broken nose. 'Were you in a car crash, mate?' he asks.

'Nah,' says the man. 'Argument with the wife.'

'Must have been some argument!'

'I really don't understand it. All I did was mention that we're both getting on a bit.'

'That's all? Surely, there was something else?'

'Well...she told me that her friends all say she's got the body of a 19-year-old.'

'And...?

'I told her she should give it back because she was getting it all wrinkled.'

Boru

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

A racist, a paedophile, and an idiot walk into a bar. The barman says, ‘What’ll it be, Mr. President?’

‘Give me a Moscow Mule and some coke.’

‘One Don, Jr coming up.’

Then Katie Zacharia walks in because it’s impossible for her to pass the bar.

Boru

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Sign in a public loo: ‘Please Wiggle Handel’

Graffito under same: ‘If I wiggle it, will it wiggle Bach?’

Boru

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

An elderly man keeps asking his wife to repeat himself. She gets fed up and tells him to go and get his hearing checked.

When he arrives, his doctor says, ‘Well, Mr. Murphy, what seems to be the trouble?’

‘Two things, Doctor; I can’t hear anything out of my right ear and I’m horribly constipated - haven’t had a poo in four days.’

‘Well, let’s check your ears first…why, Mr. Murphy - it looks like you have a suppository in your ear!’

‘Oh, NOW I know where my hearing aid went.’

Boru

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Boru