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RE: joke time
April 3, 2015 at 7:18 pm
I hope this one hasn't already been told here but:
A little boy is crying profusely at the steps to his house.
A lady passing by asks him what is wrong.
Through the tears the boy tells her that he's just heard that both his parents have died in a plane crash!
She gasps and asks him if he wants her to call Father O'Leary the priest?
The boy says "hell no, woman, this is no time to think of sex!"
Find the cure for Fundementia!
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RE: joke time
April 3, 2015 at 8:41 pm
Bought a new German phone yesterday. It was fine until I put it into Flight Mode. First it locked me out... then it crashed.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
April 3, 2015 at 11:34 pm
That's a shocker Stimbo.
Thanks, I can't wait to use it. :-)
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RE: joke time
April 5, 2015 at 3:58 pm
(This post was last modified: April 5, 2015 at 3:59 pm by robvalue.)
What did the search party do when they found they had pubic lice?
They combed the area.
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RE: joke time
April 6, 2015 at 11:09 am
Went to watch a faith healer yesterday. Everyone thought he was shit. Even a bloke in a wheelchair got up and walked out.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: joke time
April 6, 2015 at 7:53 pm
Unlike Stimbo, I've never been to a faith healer. I once went to a psychic reader, though. She told me all about my past, my future, my relationships, and so forth. I thanked her politely and got up to leave.
'Wait a minute,' she said. 'Aren't you going to pay me?'
'No,' I answered. 'Funny how you didn't see that coming.'
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
April 7, 2015 at 1:53 pm
(This post was last modified: April 7, 2015 at 1:57 pm by DIRTY_DEEDS_93.)
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
CHRISTIANITY: The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Makes perfect sense.
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
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RE: joke time
April 7, 2015 at 4:02 pm
Police in Londonderry have said that a car bomb discovered on Monday could have seriously maimed or injured people.
Next they will be telling us how a boiled kettle can seriously aid making a cup of tea
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RE: joke time
April 9, 2015 at 5:54 pm
(April 7, 2015 at 4:02 pm)C4RM5 Wrote: Police in Londonderry have said that a car bomb discovered on Monday could have seriously maimed or injured people.
Next they will be telling us how a boiled kettle can seriously aid making a cup of tea
'Derry'.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
