Stuck between a rock and a hard place

[Elskidor]

I kinda like the thought of a closet atheist playing the part of a poe to his Christian family and friends. Become so absurdly strict on following every little thing the bible says and they may become so irritated by you pointing out just how hypocritical they are, and how insane the bible actually sounds once they see a "true" follower. But then again you'd also be in some deep shit for discriminating, stoning and murdering people.

I think you should come out, but not if it means life will be hell until you are an adult on your own. You know your father and his likely reaction, but friends come and go and if they want nothing to do with you over this then you are better off without those type of people in your life.

[Jenny A]

I came out rather than become confirmed. It was rocky but not the end of the world. Honestly, it really depends upon the kind of parents you have. Trying a test balloon or two isn't a bad idea.

[JohnNelson98]

@ vorlon 13 Your reply literally made me laugh out loud. Actually, you have a really good idea

[Cato]

@ vorlon 13 Your reply literally made me laugh out loud. Actually, you have a really good idea

Self serving horseshit. Here's some real advice. Since you're young, make a habit of indesrciminate pussy eating.

Your atheism won't matter a lick.

[SteelCurtain]

I'm assuming you're 16.

I always say that one of the wonderful things about being a person firmly enmeshed in reality is that you can choose the most realistic situation and go with that until it becomes unrealistic.

You know your dad. You can easily figure out how he would react. But if the pros (not hiding/being yourself, sleeping in on Sundays, etc) do not outweigh the cons (school, friends, job, disowned by family, chance of being more immersed in Church) then you can be realistic about it, and just play the part.

That was my situation. I went to church with my parents, three times a week. I never believed, I don't ever remember buying into it. My freshman year in college, when I was fully financially solvent, I told my parents. To their credit, I don't think they would have cut me off were I dependent on them or anything, but they didn't have the option anyways. I have a great relationship with my parents and siblings now, who are all still staunchly religious.

So that is my advice. Be realistic. It is truly fantastic that you haven't bought into the indoctrination and that you are smart enough to seek advice before acting. Sounds like you are smart enough to be realistic about this. It is great to be yourself and not feel like you have to hide things, but not if that freedom comes with being ostracized, set you apart from your family, or cause you grief.

John!

[JohnNelson98]

Thank you for the advice

[Minimalist]

So, I think that I might lose some friends.

Then they aren't much of a loss.

Third, living with my dad would be awkward b/c he is a christian.

This is potentially much more serious because he may well interpret your rejection of his fairy tales as a rejection of him.

I would suggest the go-slow approach. Skip church a couple of times...headaches are always good for that... so he sees that you aren't consumed by a heavenly fireball from the big scumbucket in the sky.

[ShaMan]

[Simon Moon]

Welcome to the forum!

If coming out to your family and friends will cost you, don't do it.

I've known families that have made their atheist children's lives miserable. Not to mention even going as far as not paying for college and kicking them out of they house as soon as they are 18.

There is no hurry. My advice is to wait until you are financially independent.

[Wyrd of Gawd]

Re. Post #1: What kind of a god are you supposed to believe in? What are you being brainwashed to believe in?