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Muhammad sticks his nose into reality and fails miserably
#1
Muhammad sticks his nose into reality and fails miserably
Quote:حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، وَعَمْرٌو النَّاقِدُ، كِلاَهُمَا عَنِ الأَسْوَدِ بْنِ عَامِرٍ، - قَالَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ حَدَّثَنَا أَسْوَدُ بْنُ عَامِرٍ، - حَدَّثَنَا حَمَّادُ بْنُ سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ هِشَامِ بْنِ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، وَعَنْ ثَابِتٍ، عَنْ أَنَسٍ، أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم مَرَّ بِقَوْمٍ يُلَقِّحُونَ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ لَوْ لَمْ تَفْعَلُوا لَصَلُحَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ فَخَرَجَ شِيصًا فَمَرَّ بِهِمْ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ مَا لِنَخْلِكُمْ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالُوا قُلْتَ كَذَا وَكَذَا قَالَ ‏"‏ أَنْتُمْ أَعْلَمُ بِأَمْرِ دُنْيَاكُمْ ‏"‏ ‏



Anas reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) happened to pass by the people who had been busy in grafting the trees. Thereupon he said:
If you were not to do it, it might be good for you. (So they abandoned this practice) and there was a decline in the yield. He (the Holy Prophet) happened to pass by them (and said): What has gone wrong with your trees? They said: You said so and so. Thereupon he said: You have better knowledge (of a technical skill) in the affairs of the world.

Source : Sahih Muslim 2363

In this hadith, A bunch of people were pollinating the palm trees manually so that they will get more dates, Muhammad passed by, and since he believes in magic and all, he tells them there's no need to do that ( Cause the magic man in the sky will take care of the pollination process for you).... They leave the trees, and when it's time for the dates to pop up, SURPRISE SURPRISE !!! There's only a small amount of dates... Muhammad passes by, pretends that he forgot what happened ( And hopes that they forgot too) and says: WTF HAPPENED GUYS? Why are there almost no dates on the trees? And they were like MOHAMMED!!!!!!! U ARE THE ONE WHO TOLD US THERE'S NO NEED TO DO THAT. He was like, You didn't have to listen to me, dumbasses, I don't know shit about real world stuff....



What the fuck Mo? If you don't know, then why the fuck did you tell them its not necessary to pollinate the palms? Either know what you're talking about or shut the fuck up!
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#2
RE: Muhammad sticks his nose into reality and fails miserably
I like how they skip this in the translation
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، وَعَمْرٌو النَّاقِدُ، كِلاَهُمَا عَنِ الأَسْوَدِ بْنِ عَامِرٍ، - قَالَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ حَدَّثَنَا أَسْوَدُ بْنُ عَامِرٍ، - حَدَّثَنَا حَمَّادُ بْنُ سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ هِشَامِ بْنِ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، وَعَنْ ثَابِتٍ
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#3
RE: Muhammad sticks his nose into reality and fails miserably
(August 20, 2014 at 8:02 am)czúzyt ylgájla Wrote: I like how they skip this in the translation
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، وَعَمْرٌو النَّاقِدُ، كِلاَهُمَا عَنِ الأَسْوَدِ بْنِ عَامِرٍ، - قَالَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ حَدَّثَنَا أَسْوَدُ بْنُ عَامِرٍ، - حَدَّثَنَا حَمَّادُ بْنُ سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ هِشَامِ بْنِ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، وَعَنْ ثَابِتٍ

And that means what, exactly?
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#4
RE: Muhammad sticks his nose into reality and fails miserably
I'm surprised they actually had their prophet admitting he was wrong.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

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#5
RE: Muhammad sticks his nose into reality and fails miserably
Wrong? WTF are you talking about? He knew it would go poorly, he was -teaching them a lesson-. See how dumb they are? Good thing he came along.
(it's also about "doubting what you know based on the suggestion of another" - the lesson regarding faith ought to be obvious)
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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#6
RE: Muhammad sticks his nose into reality and fails miserably
Oh, sorry. I forgot to interpret it in a way that still leaves him being correct.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

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#7
RE: Muhammad sticks his nose into reality and fails miserably
(August 20, 2014 at 9:42 am)Endo Wrote:
(August 20, 2014 at 8:02 am)czúzyt ylgájla Wrote: I like how they skip this in the translation
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، وَعَمْرٌو النَّاقِدُ، كِلاَهُمَا عَنِ الأَسْوَدِ بْنِ عَامِرٍ، - قَالَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ حَدَّثَنَا أَسْوَدُ بْنُ عَامِرٍ، - حَدَّثَنَا حَمَّادُ بْنُ سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ هِشَامِ بْنِ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، وَعَنْ ثَابِتٍ

And that means what, exactly?

Abu bakr bin abi shaiba and 'omru al-naqid told us, both by (they were told by) al-aswad bin 'amir, - abu bakr said al-aswad bin 'amir told us, - hammad bin salama told us, by hisham bin 'orwa, by his father, by 'aisha, and by thabet.

Thabet told aisha who told the father of orwa...etc
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#8
RE: Muhammad sticks his nose into reality and fails miserably
Hmmm.

Joseph Smith might really be the reincarnation of Muhammad !!!


Tongue
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#9
RE: Muhammad sticks his nose into reality and fails miserably
(August 20, 2014 at 9:42 am)Endo Wrote:
(August 20, 2014 at 8:02 am)czúzyt ylgájla Wrote: I like how they skip this in the translation
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، وَعَمْرٌو النَّاقِدُ، كِلاَهُمَا عَنِ الأَسْوَدِ بْنِ عَامِرٍ، - قَالَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ حَدَّثَنَا أَسْوَدُ بْنُ عَامِرٍ، - حَدَّثَنَا حَمَّادُ بْنُ سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ هِشَامِ بْنِ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، وَعَنْ ثَابِتٍ

And that means what, exactly?

Why did the chicken cross the page?




What is it with the holy assholes fucking with the fruit trees anyway?

Quote:18 Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. 19 Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, “May you never bear fruit again!” Immediately the tree withered.

20 When the disciples saw this, they were amazed. “How did the fig tree wither so quickly?” they asked.

21 Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. 22 If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”

Matty 21
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#10
RE: Muhammad sticks his nose into reality and fails miserably
So why didn't Jesus fix the fig tree ??

He wanted a fig, fix the fig tree and get a fig.


D'oh !!!!
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