I am now one seriously conflicted Atheist.. Help???

[LostDays]

Expect chain of coincidences in near future. God is communicating with you. That's how I became a theist

OP. Ignore this silly comment from this very silly individual. He is trying to sell you snake oil, specifically oil that he himself peddles.

As to your elucidation, and the others that have commented here, it is more than probably simply a coincidence. They happen all the time, and whilst sometimes a pattern can be derived, more often there isn't any pattern to discern (see: Jenny's comment above).

Consider that dreams are a way for the brain to compartmentalise the information that you've assimilated during the day (or over a given time period) whilst dismissing the irrelevant material. Often this can be information that you didn't notice, but your brain did. Again, Jenny above elucidates on some of this potential but really the time scale between his death and your discovery is effectively irrelevant. If you want to discern a pattern to the time that you father died to the time you learned about it,you could. Time wouldn't matter.

Also we need to consider the relevance of what we have observed collectively as a species over time. People communicating from the dead is, thus far, an impossibility. It's never been proven to happen, & contravenes the very nature of reality that we know to this date.

Also consider, finally, that being an atheist doesn't entail not believing in woo and spiritualism (etc). Others have already pointed this out so I'll just touch on it, but atheism is simply a lack of belief in deities as a minimum. I know some atheists who swear blind by homoeopathy and reflexology for example.

Anyway, regardless of what you conclude, I hope you and the rest of your family are ok.

Yeah, you are 100% right.. I can definitely see how my emotions have caused some faulty thinking on my part. I can totally see now how it is honestly just a silly coincidence lol. I appreciate you elaborating for me as I know that Atheists vary so much.. I'm really curious to know if there are any spiritual things you do believe in or are a part of? I am just curious to know what different sorts of things skeptics and Atheists do believe in! Just curiosity sake.. I am just wanting to learn more about others!

Thanks again, I appreciate your input.

[The Grand Nudger]

I have a hard time identifying anything I "believe" in. Been wondering about it off and on all my life - still no answer yet. I'll be sure to let you know though...lol.

Welcome aboard, btw.

[Simon Moon]

Hello everyone, I am totally new here but I am really hoping I can get some feedback from some people about some really crazy things that have been happening to me lately.

I don't want to bore anyone with a super long post so I will do my best to keep it as short as possible.

First I will just start out letting everyone know I am 25 years old and I am an Atheist. I have always been pretty dead set in my views but after a few things that have happened recently, I honestly don't know what to believe anymore and it is seriously causing me a lot of problems.

I recently found out that my biological Father passed away May 29 2014.. I ended up finding out exactly one month later.. June 29 2014. What is bothering me.. is the way I found out.

Some quick background information: I have been estranged from my Father and his side of the family ever since I was 13 years old. I also want to mention that because I am now 25 years old, since so much time has passed, I honestly never thought about my Father very much.. I had put that all behind me.. Until now!

I woke up June 29th after having an insanely vivid dream about him.. again, because so much time has passed since I last saw him, I didn't think about him much anymore, so the dream kind of caught me off guard as I have never really had dreams about him. The weird thing about this dream was that my Father had told me to check the obituaries?! So almost immediately upon waking up, almost instinctual, a feeling I can't even explain. I grabbed my phone and Googled his name. With a bit of searching it didn't take me long... There his name was, there his obituary was. I was pretty speechless.

Now the mind blowing thing about all of this... is I got on the phone to call my Mom to deliver the news to her, and before I could even finish speaking she interrupted me and had told me she already knew, and had known for a few weeks now, but because of everything I had been dealing with, she said she didn't know the right way to break the news to me, and she said she didn't know how the news would impact me either.... (I've been dealing with really severe health issues the last few years and was going through a really rough period a few months ago) so she told me she was waiting for a more stable moment in my life to be able to tell me...

She isn't religious but she said a little prayer in her mind, that if there was ever a way for my Father to be able to tell me himself, that he needed to find a way for she couldn't bare to do it herself right now. She said it was the least he could do since I never got to have a relationship with him and was never able to get to know him or have a final goodbye. I honestly couldn't believe what I was hearing when she was telling me this.... My Father had found a way to tell me about his death through my dreams?! Again...

I am an Atheist and I honestly can't sit here and say that it was all sheer coincidence... There is just NO way... Exactly one month after his death I am having this dream about him and this is how I find out?! I am really wanting to know what all my other fellow Atheist's think about all of this...

Welcome aboard!

I'll make several points.

1. Most people have about 5 dreams per night. Most people only remember a fraction of them. You had a dream about your father, that you happened to remember, a month after his death. The fact is, there is a very good possibility that you have had other dreams about him many times, but have not remembered them.

You are counting the 'hits' and ignoring the many misses.

2. For arguments sake, lets say you had some sort or 'real' supernatural experience where your dead father visited you in a dream. Where is the connection to a god?

3. Why couldn't it have been a coincidence? Because it was exactly a month? Because your mother asked for him to communicate with you? Because your mother interrupted you on the phone that she already knew?

I see nothing but coincidence.

There is no evidence that something unusual actually occurred. There is no phenomena to investigate. And even if there was, there is nothing to indicate that it is any way connected to your dead father communicating with you, or that a god exists.

[LostDays]

So you're an atheist. Are you also a skeptic? Does it puzzle you to experience a little synchronicity every now and then? Skeptics who assume the answers they already have are sufficient to explain every coincidence that may arise go too far. Dreams aren't completely well understood. I think you may interpret this any way that seems right to you. Does it make you question your lack of belief in gods?

Definitely doesn't change or alter my belief in Gods.. (Still don't believe and never will)

But would change and alter my beliefs with respect to human existence I guess..? I always come back to Science at the end of the day.. I sit and ponder what the point to human existence is all the time and I find the answer that 'Life is what you make of it' still very unsatisfying for many reasons one of the biggest ones being that I work with people who have mental health issues and deal with suicidal ideation a lot.

All I can ever tell these people is that this existence is the only one we have, and we need to make the best of it while we are still here. These people are severely depressed and don't have the same outlook on life as a lot of us.. and it is hard for me to try and find reasons to tell people to keep hanging on.. Some of the things these people have been through is just absolute insanity... I don't know how you help someone re-discover that life is worth living when some really horrible things have happened... I guess I see why certain people resort to religion? After some of the stories I've heard from these people that is all that they have to bring them comfort... How can I bring words of comfort for these people without imposing my Atheist views?

[The Grand Nudger]

If you don't find that answer satisfying, find another. Keep in mind, the cosmos are under no obligation to satisfy us. Might be tilting at windmills on that count.

How can I bring words of comfort for these people without imposing my Atheist views?

By listening? Empathizing? Reassuring gestures - simple kindness. Ask them questions, give them a platform for their grievance. I'm not sure why the imposition of atheism is even relevant. But hell, you -could- "impose" your atheism in a compatible way. "Sometimes I don;t understand god's plan, I don;t understand why these bad things happen thus and thus" - "Maybe bad things™ aren't part of gods plan".

Point is this, I don't see why atheism needs to be present or is useful in comforting people (who I assume are theists by the way these was phrased)...but even if you were putting forward "atheist condolences" - what?

[LostDays]

I guess I should have worded it differently, but what do you guys do that are not Religious and those who do not believe in God, how do you comfort yourself during suffering? Hope that clarifies.

[The Grand Nudger]

Probably as many reasons as there are people who turn to them, eh? (re: reasons)

Comfort? Pretty much the same as a theist, sans any god nonsense - as should be expected...on both counts.

[Whateverist]

Definitely doesn't change or alter my belief in Gods.. (Still don't believe and never will)

But would change and alter my beliefs with respect to human existence I guess..? I always come back to Science at the end of the day.. I sit and ponder what the point to human existence is all the time and I find the answer that 'Life is what you make of it' still very unsatisfying for many reasons one of the biggest ones being that I work with people who have mental health issues and deal with suicidal ideation a lot.

All I can ever tell these people is that this existence is the only one we have, and we need to make the best of it while we are still here. These people are severely depressed and don't have the same outlook on life as a lot of us.. and it is hard for me to try and find reasons to tell people to keep hanging on.. Some of the things these people have been through is just absolute insanity... I don't know how you help someone re-discover that life is worth living when some really horrible things have happened... I guess I see why certain people resort to religion? After some of the stories I've heard from these people that is all that they have to bring them comfort... How can I bring words of comfort for these people without imposing my Atheist views?

That seems like a dilemma alright. Personally I should prefer to find a way to relate that didn't feel false and therefore condescending. I wonder if hollow platitudes -especially those in which we don't believe ourselves- really give anyone 'comfort'. If the circumstances were reversed, would you actually want the person charged with helping you to resort to trite sentiments they did not believe? I would imagine the most important thing you have to offer is a real encounter, an authentic relationship. I guess it depends on what your role is and how your duties are described. If you're charged with keeping people calm and non-confrontational, perhaps you have no choice. If you do have a choice, you'd have to do what feels to you like the right thing.

[fr0d0]

Hollow platitudes are just that. Depressed people can shut out reality without realising, so engaging them can be all it takes for them to see it again. Rinse, repeat.

For some, spirituality is core. Different people have different needs, and need treating accordingly.

[Nintentacle]

You had a dream about him an entire month after he died, so what? It's just a coincidence. What would have been impressive is if you had dreamt about him the day he died.

I hope It's not a coincidence in the same way as this: http://mediaexposed.tumblr.com/post/3136...etc-before

Or how Joan Rivers was born in 1933, died at 81, on the same day Beyonce turned 33 (She was born in 1981). She died a couple months after she said Obama was gay and his wife is a tranny.