The Case for an Insurrection Against Jesus Christ

[Whateverist]

Imagine the look on his face!

"Did you guys listen to anything I said?"

I saw a poster-thingy on fb with a palm planting Jesus statue expressing a similar sentiment. It said:

"Let me see if I get this straight ..

You say you take the bible literally enough
to reject what almost all scientists say ..

.. but you don't take it literally enough to FEED THE POOR?"

[abaris]

You say you take the bible literally enough
to reject what almost all scientists say ..

.. but you don't take it literally enough to FEED THE POOR?"

Ayn Rand would be very much against it. That's why.

[Whateverist]

Well at least I can believe that she was real. Flawed of course, but real. I prefer the character of Jesus in that bible book. Too bad it's only fiction.

[abaris]

Well at least I can believe that she was real. Flawed of course, but real. I prefer the character of Jesus in that bible book. Too bad it's only fiction.

Well, he's got his downsides too. I certainly wouldn't want to be his follower. Sounds kind of like the Jim Jones approach to me.

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters--yes, even their own life--such a person cannot be my disciple.

And he doesn't even mention dogs.

[Alex K]

No, kill him with a huge vibrator. I wanna see the New Christians with those around their neck and on their churches.

One of those really lurid mythological animal dildos from Bad Dragon.

"When he realized what terrible foe had snuck up on him from behind, it was already too late -his hitherto impenetrable defenses were gone, and he succumbed to Nox the Nightdrake. The last thing he heard was an indistinct whirring noise accompanied by a faint smell of sulfur and, oddly, vinyl and crisco. After that - eternal darkness."

[Esquilax]

One of those really lurid mythological animal dildos from Bad Dragon.

"When he realized what terrible foe had snuck up on him from behind, it was already too late -his hitherto impenetrable defenses were gone, and he succumbed to Nox the Nightdrake. The last thing he heard was an indistinct whirring noise accompanied by a faint smell of sulfur and, oddly, vinyl and crisco. After that - eternal darkness."

"And lo, when he arose from his tomb, Jesus, who is the Christ, began to ascend to heaven. But then he stopped and remembered his sacrifice, and he did run to the bathroom, to scrub and scrub until he was clean. And much lube did runneth down the drain. Amen."

[Alex K]

Now there's a resurrection people will remember!

[The Grand Nudger]

On the other hand he would just keep coming back to life so we would have to be vigilant. Rhythm, I hope we can count on you for support. Gawd knows there aren't any guns at my house.

Well....eternal vigilance -is- the price of liberty, after all. First things first, we need to interrupt that intel jesus has regarding the disposition of insurgent elements. Wonder how much it would cost to get some iron into a roll of tinfoil......

[abaris]

Well....eternal vigilance -is- the price of liberty, after all. First things first, we need to interrupt that intel jesus has regarding the disposition of insurgent elements. Wonder how much it would cost to get some iron into a roll of tinfoil......

One could always try the Highlander approach. Not from the crappy tv series, but from the original Christopher Lambert movie. Chopping off his head and making sure, he doesn't get it back should work.

Unless he's Christopher Walken of course.

[Cyberman]

Or we could go the Torchwood route and bury him in an airtight lead-lined iron box in a secret archive, so that he'll keep respawning and smothering for eternity.