Respecting Christian family and friends

[watchamadoodle]

Would they respect your views?

Everybody would respect my views except my mother. My mother would probably worry and pray more, and I'm sure she would persistently suggest that I need to be a Christian. It wouldn't bother me, but it would add unnecessary worry to my mother's life.

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Thanks for those replies, everybody.

I have heard that Judaism tolerates atheism. I was hopeful that the Episcopal church might tolerate atheists and even allow them to receive communion, but most Episcopalians were offended when I asked about this on a forum. Many of them seemed to think that it would be extremely disrespectful for me to even participate in the songs and prayers as an atheist.

The other thought was the possibility that I could believe in a God behind the Christian God (and all the other religion's gods too). I thought this type of belief might be acceptable to some denominations (such as Eastern Orthodox). Asking about this got me cited for blasphemy on a general Christian forum, and it really pissed-off the people at an Orthodox forum.

I feel like Christianity is making me into a leper. It makes me angry, because I was baptized into the Episcopal church as an infant. Later I joined the Orthodox church and participated there. I always had doubts. Now that I consider myself an atheist, I'm a blasphemer and a pariah. (I see what people mean about atheists being unpopular in the US )

BTW I have always hated going to church, and most of my life I have rarely attended church, so I don't know why I care about not being welcome there anymore... strange.

[vorlon13]

On average, my catholic relatives are more fun to be around than the protestant ones.

Hard to say, but I would give a slight nod to catholic alcoholics being better to be around too.

[robvalue]

Welcome to the real world my friend

Sorry to hear your mother would most likely take it badly. For some people it's so hard wired that they just can't think any other way. One counter measure if they give you grief is to ask them why they reject islam so easily? And Zeus? And thor? And Venus? Etc. Almost all religious types are atheist to every single God except for one, for the exact same reasons were also atheist to that last one. So we're not as different as they like to think.

The good thing about atheism is there is no dogma, so it's up to the individual if they feel lying is the best thing to do on balance. You shouldn't feel pressured into religious ceremony, that is not right, but if you choose to partake to keep the peace, there is no God of atheism waiting to burn your bum for it.

The only other thing I can think is to get their opinion on atheism in a sneaky way, by asking what they think about "these atheists" or something. Dunno if that's too stupid to work or not. You could start to mildly defend them and see what reaction you get, "I can see there point, it is hard to actually find evidence that God definitely exists".

Best of luck with however you decide to handle it

[thesummerqueen]

Jews want to promote their culture as much as their religion. It makes them, on average, more tolerant of cultural Jews vs religious Jews, than a southern Baptist would be of a southern atheist, even if they go to the same pig-pickin' and drink the same sweet tea.

I could possibly get along with a Jewish man as a religious partner, though it would be a trying thing. I could maybe handle a Wiccan. I can't handle any other religion.

[robvalue]

This kinds of brings me to a point I've been meaning to make.

I don't get the big deal about wanting to preserve culture. Personally, I couldn't give a toss what people in my country happen to have been doing for the last 500 years. I understand wanting to remember significant events, such as all the soldiers who gave their lives in the world wars. That is important to remember. But stupid clothes, songs, dances... whatever, why is it considered important to keep things the same?

Maybe I'm just a cold hearted son of a bitch. I'd never try and stop anyone doing it, it's totally up to them as long as they don't hurt anyone or pressure me into it too.

As it happens, there's not a lot of tradition in this country other than a few silly days a year. But if there was, I wouldn't care. Why should I?

[thesummerqueen]

Oh, I don't know. There's something about the songs that are fun to sing together. I can't dance, so I can't speak to that, and no one gave a shit about the clothes in the reform or conservative synagogues. It's the food and holidays that were fun, and occasionally the life events.

Man needs ritual of some sort. It doesn't have to be religious. But sometimes enacting the religious ones for the fuck of it is entertaining.

[robvalue]

Sure, that makes sense, pick the things you like and do them. It's the idea that it's important to preserve the whole culture that I find puzzling, as if it is an entity in itself that should be taken care of.

[thesummerqueen]

Most people I know do not act that way to begin with. Shit changes. And most people I've seen who want to preserve a supposed 'old' way of life are merely looking at a false ideal through rose-colored glasses - they want to preserve their own ideal. Take the Christian right and the 50's, for instance. They vaunt those years because to them, they were awesome (white, middle or upper class men). They were shit for everyone else.

Fundies talk about old-time religion without understanding that religion has changed with the time and environment. Traditions evolve. No one's culture stands in a vacuum. You hear someone say they want to preserve it whole-cloth, you tell them they're a fucking idiot.

[robvalue]

Hehe cool.

Yeah, from my hermit viewpoint I think I see it more in the African and carribean type countries (geography not my strong suit) where they seem totally obsessed with acting just like everyone else always has. But maybe I should just shut up and let them get on with what they want to do.

[Tonus]

Culture seems to me like another form of tribalism, and as social creatures it comes very easily to us. We seek out people who are like us in any number of ways, and celebratory rituals where everyone gets to take part can be a very powerful way to bond and bring the group together. I've never celebrated Christmas (or any other holiday) but I have always enjoyed the atmosphere that it creates during an otherwise cold, wet, dark and dreary time of year.