I find myself in a situation where people are likely to offer prayers on my behalf, people I care about and have no desire to offend. Most of them will know I am not a believer so the first puzzle is, are they being as thoughtful about not offending me by insisting on being public about the prayer? After all, IF there really was a god for them to pray to, AND IF that god can be swayed to alter the course of events by prayer, AND IF it would do so at the urging of the believer without being concerned that the object of their prayer is not a believer, than they could offer up their prayers without mentioning it to me and get the exact same result.
If they insist on making the prayer public with my implied consent, it it likely just setting me up to offend them anyway. If things turn out well I will not be giving a god the glory. If they turn out not-so-well I will simply accept that is how life works, no god's plan involved. Either reaction is likely to offer offense, though I suspect the former more than the latter. It appears that my options are to offend by declining the public prayer in the first place, or by conceding to the prayer and then not accepting god's involvement in the second.
If the prayers being offered “for” me are being offered in the sense that I am the object, than I can appreciate the sentiment and let it go at that. Such rituals are a socially acceptable method for showing concern and support. But if the prayer is offered “for” me in the sense that they are doing something that I should be doing for myself, then a different reflection is in play, with the inference being that I am being deficient in my caring about the situation and so am somehow in their debt. A debt best repaid by acknowledging the effectiveness and caring intervention of their god.
As with all things religious, there is often some ulterior motive for the “good” things that they do.
Anyway, people will do what they want, and I am going to assume the best for most of the people involved. They really do care, but - I suspect - some will also be offended no matter how much I would like for that not to happen.
This had the potential to be a difficult enough time without adding unintended offences to the mix. In this case even the best of religious intentions is as likely to do nothing but add just that little bit more difficulty.
If they insist on making the prayer public with my implied consent, it it likely just setting me up to offend them anyway. If things turn out well I will not be giving a god the glory. If they turn out not-so-well I will simply accept that is how life works, no god's plan involved. Either reaction is likely to offer offense, though I suspect the former more than the latter. It appears that my options are to offend by declining the public prayer in the first place, or by conceding to the prayer and then not accepting god's involvement in the second.
If the prayers being offered “for” me are being offered in the sense that I am the object, than I can appreciate the sentiment and let it go at that. Such rituals are a socially acceptable method for showing concern and support. But if the prayer is offered “for” me in the sense that they are doing something that I should be doing for myself, then a different reflection is in play, with the inference being that I am being deficient in my caring about the situation and so am somehow in their debt. A debt best repaid by acknowledging the effectiveness and caring intervention of their god.
As with all things religious, there is often some ulterior motive for the “good” things that they do.
Anyway, people will do what they want, and I am going to assume the best for most of the people involved. They really do care, but - I suspect - some will also be offended no matter how much I would like for that not to happen.
This had the potential to be a difficult enough time without adding unintended offences to the mix. In this case even the best of religious intentions is as likely to do nothing but add just that little bit more difficulty.
