how to respond to dad's "shabbat shalom"?

[Jacob(smooth)]

Just my view here but I'd suggest saying "thanks, you too" and get over it. You're responsible for your feelings, not him. It's your problem. Start down the path of insisting that religious people interact with you in a way that does not offend your Atheist sensibility we risk becoming what they say we are. Sounds like he's making a nice gesture to me, in the context he best knows how.


To quote Steve hughes

"Now you have adults going “I was offended, I was offended and I have rights!” Well so what, be offended, nothing happened. You’re an adult, grow up, and deal with it. I was offended! Well, I don’t care! Nothing happens when you’re offended. “I went to the comedy show and the comedian said something about the lord, and I was offended, and when I woke up in the morning, I had leprosy."

Nothing Happens. “I want to live in a democracy but I never want to be offended again.” Well you’re an idiot.

How do you make a law about offending people? How do you make it an offense to offend people? Being offended is subjective. It has everything to do with you as an individual or a collective, or a group or a society or a community. Your moral conditioning, your religious beliefs. What offends me may not offend you. And you want to make laws about this? I’m offended when I see boy bands for god sake.


Substitute "uncomfortable" with "offended" it's just as true

[Pyrrho]

If they don't know I'm an atheist and say merry christmas, I don't care, because they don't know. But my dad knows I'm an atheist and he knows I'm uncomfortable around the family during religious holidays. He also knows i'm dealing psychologically with self acceptance and trying to find a way to be happy and not care and just be with my family even though they surround themselves in every aspect of every day life with their judaism.

IE. Passover is coming. They want me to attend a Passover seder. I can't do it. I can't sit back on a comfy pillow, get drunk, and sing and toast to God's intervention when there is slavery and rape and terrorism and just awful suffering in the world. To my family, it's not a big deal. They eat, they drink, they sing, and they do some rituals, but to me, well I know that the rituals represent a discretionary god who chooses when to save people and let people die, and obviously he chose to save the Jews because they are Jews. Can't do it.

My dad knows i'm dealing with all this. He knows I've been distant for the express reason that I stand against Judaism. and If I had my way, I'd never had to deal with it again, if not for my family.

He knows all these things. And says shabbat shalom. It's not a big deal to him. But it feels like this is his way of trying to missionize me, to try to keep judaism in my life when he knows I don't want any part of it.

So yeah, I guess it's a big deal to me. The question is, am I overreacting and should i just shut up and let the guy say shabbat shalom?

You can tell him that you don't like getting the text messages. He will either stop it or not; what he chooses to do is up to him, not to you.

You don't need to respond with the same message he sends to you. You can say, "have a nice day," or not respond at all.

If he does not stop, then, if this is really a big deal to you, you can change your number and not tell him what it is. Then he will be unable to text you. I personally would not do that, and would just ignore this, but you must decide for yourself what is important and what isn't.

As for the dinner, if it offends your sensibilities, do not attend. Simple as that.