Funerals and Weddings, a waste of money.

[Dystopia]

I think both are scams. Not that they exist but for what they have become, over priced symbols of narcissism. To me there is a huge difference between charging and gouging.

Moreso with funerals. I will tell everyone here when I die, just have a wake keep it cheap, use a house you don't have to pay for. A little on food and drink sure, and even have a roast of me if you wish. Donate my body to science.

But don't waste money on a casket or cremation. The money spent on that I would want people to use for their own lives. I'll be dead so I will have no way to enjoy what you do for me. I get the mourning part that is normal, but wasting money on it beyond getting together is superfluous.

Weddings are absurd too. All that money could be used for bills or a house or a car or savings. A wedding is one day, it is the relationship after that that matters.

I'm not inclined to marry with a big party, signing the papers and having a few drinks is enough for me. Probably no white dress and tuxedos, I'm not fond of that. But I don't understand the part where you feel entitled to tell people how narcissistic they are. I could name lots of things that are overpriced and people still do it.

[robvalue]

I had a small wedding at Monkey World, one of my favourite places on Earth. It's a monkey sanctuary that also campaigns to stop cruel practices internationally.

We had just close friends and family, and the money went to helping the sanctuary with future rescue projects I'd show you pictures, but my wife (who is a real person) is rather shy about having her picture banded about. We got married right next to Paddy's enclosure My wife got driven "down the aisle" in one of their karts and we played the Ghostbusters theme!

I know I'm sarcastic a lot, but that was serious. It all happened. 5th anniversary this year!

[ManMachine]

I think both are scams. Not that they exist but for what they have become, over priced symbols of narcissism. To me there is a huge difference between charging and gouging.

Moreso with funerals. I will tell everyone here when I die, just have a wake keep it cheap, use a house you don't have to pay for. A little on food and drink sure, and even have a roast of me if you wish. Donate my body to science.

But don't waste money on a casket or cremation. The money spent on that I would want people to use for their own lives. I'll be dead so I will have no way to enjoy what you do for me. I get the mourning part that is normal, but wasting money on it beyond getting together is superfluous.

Weddings are absurd too. All that money could be used for bills or a house or a car or savings. A wedding is one day, it is the relationship after that that matters.

Death ceremonies are the oldest form of ritual we know. They pre-dates all the world religions, it is even believed to pre-date Homo Sapiens. ritual burial was around before we were.

I think death ceremonies have a deep resonance with us, Stonehenge is believed by some to be the centre of a Neolithic necropolis, it certainly has many burials in and around its complex and almost certainly played some part in ritualistic burials. Neanderthals were also believed to carry out ritual burials some of the time.

Neanderthal Burials Confirmed as Ancient Ritual

MM

[Cyberman]

I'm going to be cremated and have 10% of my ashes thrown in my agent's face.

Boru

After I die, I want my remains scattered over Disneyland. Also I don't want to be cremated.

[zebo-the-fat]

When I got married it was simple and cheap, a few friends and family at the local registry office, then back home for drinks and food.
I have already sorted my funeral, cheapest coffin/body bag whatever (why spend good beer money feeding the flames?) music, some classical, then Queen's "Another one bites the dust", ending with Monty Python's "Always look on the bright side of life"

[FatAndFaithless]

I quite like Penn Jillette's comment on his own wedding, which went something to the tune of: "We got married at a drive through chapel. It cost us $250, and that's because we bought $100 worth of flowers."

[vorlon13]

I have been to some ultra-tense funerals for my friends that have passed from AIDS. Back in the 80s the family members were (usually) mortified a brother/husband/son had died of AIDS, and having a passel of their gay friends at the service was a further excruciating aspect of the death.

I was a pallbearer for Brian, and his family had come around amazingly well to the gay aspect when he died, unfortunately, the family's Baptist minister had not, and he said an awful thing during the service. Brian's mom apologized to all of Brian's gay friends afterwards, she was a real class act even her faith is a cult of bigoted intolerance.

I've been to several funerals were there were ex-wives and kids of my gay friends. Usually the former families first exposure to the gay world of the their dad/husband was at the funeral when surviving partner and their 100 gay friends showed up. (surviving gay partners were usually ignored during the planning of the funerals back then)

Chris passed away quickly enough after moving back from the west coast to be cared for by his family that none of us even knew he was ill, let alone died. His family didn't contact anyone in Chris's gay circle of local friends and none of us knew he died till his obit was in the paper.

The websites with cemetery information have been a blessing, we've been able to find several of our friends resting places when the families never contacted any of us.

My annoyance with Chris's family was tempered when I found his, he was buried next to a brother he had never mentioned to any of us; his folks had lost 2 sons before either hit 30.

I've had a couple cousins do very low key funerals, and those seem to be more personal and memorable. Cousin Jo had been bitten by a poisonous snake in AZ, and none of us up north ever knew about it. When her friends were discussing it, and how the snake had failed to survive the experience I realized my cousin had led a far more interesting life than I ever suspected. I cherish the chance to meet her friends and see her through their eyes, she was VERY different in RL than most all of us 'stay at homes' (not that I am one myself) ever suspected.

[No_God]

I kinda agree but I kinda disagree.

I think expensive shit like that really isn't necessary at all but I can understand why people would want to pay shitloads of money to create a special memory or to honor someone's life.

[Strider]

But by tradition it's the bride's father who foots the bill; so unless that's you, enjoy the ride (aka the bride) and cram as much of the buffet as you can fit into your pockets.

Unfortunately, tradition wasn't followed in my case. My wife and I paid for the whole thing! But, like I said, I found the price reasonable so no complaints here.

[Clueless Morgan]

But by tradition it's the bride's father who foots the bill; so unless that's you, enjoy the ride (aka the bride) and cram as much of the buffet as you can fit into your pockets.

Unfortunately, tradition wasn't followed in my case. My wife and I paid for the whole thing! But, like I said, I found the price reasonable so no complaints here.

I also think this tradition is tied to the age of the couple getting married, too. I feel like I've lately seen younger couples getting married on mommy and daddy's dime, but older couples (30s or older) seem to be expected to foot their own bill.

When my oldest sister got married at the age of 26, my dad offered to pay 100% of the cost for them to elope in Vegas, otherwise he would donate only a certain amount to their wedding - still a substantial amount, but he wasn't going to pay for the whole thing. (If I remember correctly, her wedding cost around $10k). She and her second husband footed the bill for their wedding, which was way less expensive.