Parents forcing a christian convention on me - how to keep sane?

[Minimalist]

In the meantime, take this opportunity to study the Babble as every atheist really should. It will help in later debates once you do come out.

Fuck the bible.  That's just propaganda written by the winners.  If you want to have some real fun read through some of these characters.

http://www.earlychristianwritings.com/ch...thers.html

You find such gems as this in Irenaeus' Against Heresies, Book 2

Chapter XXII.-The Thirty Aeons are Not Typified by the Fact that Christ Was Baptized in His Thirtieth Year: He Did Not Suffer in the Twelfth Month After His Baptism, But Was More Than Fifty Years Old When He Died.

Clearly, the fuckers were still working out the kinks in the late 2d century!

[SteelCurtain]

Okay, so first of all, I relate to DJ's situation (and Norman's) as it is very similar to my own.

My parents are extremely fundy, to the point where they applaud willful ignorance. As a freshman/sophomore in high school, (DJ said he was 14 two months ago) I was an atheist by all but name. My parents forced me to go to church usually twice a week. I had to volunteer to run a camera for the megachurch that we went to. We prayed at every meal, we worshipped on special occasions (my parents are going to a Good Friday service tonight in Florida), we didn't participate in Halloween. I had to go to FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) after school when I was in Middle School.

I say all this to point out that "coming out" to my parents would have been a thing that although I would have been more true to myself, would have caused my life to be MUCH worse. I would have had to go to Christian Counseling sessions, I would have been forced to not hang out with my best friends, my freedoms would have been reigned in mightily. If I had to choose between letting my parents know the "real me" and being homeless, or even just my autonomy as a 16 year old who my parents trusted when I went to parties and work, then I would HAPPILY keep up the charade. Even today, I don't flaunt my atheism. You wouldn't know it about me unless you were my friend. I don't need to tell anyone about it, because even though I am passionate about the political/social issues, atheism is just my answer to one single question and isn't really that big a part of my life.

So the idea that DJ should tell his parents just to be his "true self" even though he has told everyone here many times about what he perceives his parents' reaction would be is ridiculous. This isn't like pretending to be straight. He has to go to church for a couple of years and maybe a retreat or two. I did it, and I waited until I was ready until I told my parents. I was away at college and financially independent. Turned out I didn't need to be, but nonetheless, I wasn't ready until that time. Now, if they asked him to do something unethical like try to convert a gay friend or not be friends with a gay person, then that is a different story.

DJ, just try to make the most of these sojourns into the religious lion's den. My first retreats were miserable only because I made them so. I had to go, so I just looked for opportunities to have fun. SO MANY KIDS your age hate it as much as you do. Just something simple like dropping an F-Bomb can be code for "I'm not buying it" and you'll win people over and shy away the conservitards. You're a teenager, teenagers are notoriously subversive. Sometimes they just need a little push.

[LastPoet]

Are there any cool kids on the convention? you can talk to them about others stuff than just religious bs. If you want to avoid conflict, it will find you. Try to see if you can fit in and do stuff with the other kids, besides religion. Meh, the ceremonies were booooooring, in my youth as catholic I had to go to catholic masses. I couldn't wait for the lords prayer, as it meant it was almost over.

[Faith No More]

I agree with that. I was under the impression you meant that they should come out to their parents. In your earlier statement responding to his comment saying coming out as gay being a bad idea you said that being proud of who you are is not a bad idea. Those two things are not mutually exclusive. You can be proud of who you are and still decide it's better for you to hide it from your family until they don't have as much power over you. Not out of shame, but for practical reasons.

Sure, asserting who you are is important, but with devout religious parents it's not an easy or sometimes even possible thing to do. I don't know the OP's situation and I can only speak for myself, but any attempt to present beliefs contradicting those of my mother resulted in her telling me I'm wrong and lecturing me about it. It's really hard to argue with these kind of people so I chose not to discuss some things with them to save myself the negative response. But still, while it's important to assert yourself there's really not that much you can do at 16 and some people don't take kindly to disagreements. It's good to draw the line, though. I just don't think there is a universal age for that.

I wasn't trying to imply that they should, just that a fear of a parent's acceptance isn't a good reason to keep something from them by itself.  Sure, when you have the other factors like financial dependence you have to take those into consideration, but I was trying to point out that people shouldn't feel the need conform to their parents' beliefs, despite how practical it may seem.

I've just seen enough destruction in my life from poor parenting and a child's inability to speak up against it that I think it's important to let teenagers know that they have to teach their parents lessons, too, and one of those lessons is when and where it is appropriate to determine what the child does with their life and who they become.  Parents sometimes aren't very good at recognizing boundaries, but they'll never recognize them at all if the kid doesn't speak up.

[Norman Humann]

I wasn't trying to imply that they should, just that a fear of a parent's acceptance isn't a good reason to keep something from them by itself.  Sure, when you have the other factors like financial dependence you have to take those into consideration, but I was trying to point out that people shouldn't feel the need conform to their parents' beliefs, despite how practical it may seem.

I've just seen enough destruction in my life from poor parenting and a child's inability to speak up against it that I think it's important to let teenagers know that they have to teach their parents lessons, too, and one of those lessons is when and where it is appropriate to determine what the child does with their life and who they become.  Parents sometimes aren't very good at recognizing boundaries, but they'll never recognize them at all if the kid doesn't speak up.

Yeah. This just shouldn't be an issue. Ideally parents should respect their children's beliefs and indentity, but unfortunately that's far from reality.

I hear you on the speaking up part. I know some people who allow their parents to plan their life out for them and never object. It's really harmful and impairs the child's ability to function on their own. I think it should be a gradual process, as the child grows up they should slowly begin standing up to their parents. I say this because I feel like most either do it very aggressively by rebelling against everything or don't do it at all.

[Brian37]

So when I say forcing I mean they think I want to go, I havent told them about my athiesm as I don't want to face the consequences
With that out of the way I am going to a christian convention on Monday! The time where I have to take a break from my exams Im getting preached about how fucking amazing JC is!

So how do I keep sane? What should I do to keep my ass out of a mental asylum!

Thank you

The emotocons imply that you are not afraid of any real physical violence or being dumped on the street. How old are you?

I would say if you live under their roof, put up with it play long and when you get old enough and are on your own you can be more blunt with them. 

You don't need the asylum, they do, but a war is still not worth it. If you need to bitch and vent do it here.

Outside this issue my best friend in HS had a mother as confrontational as my own, he handled her better than I did back then with her than I did with my mom then. I am older now and my mom and I get along far better now than we did then. None of my mom's athoritarian attitude had to do with religion, it was her own upbringing and indoctrination to class and gender rolls. But script thinking by parents can hurt the kid even with the best intent from the parent.

The best thing to do is always know that their personalities and baggage are not yours. No, that does not give you licence to be a rebel and do destructive things to them or yourself. Just know that you will get to a point where distance will provide you better ways to manage your differences. 

[robvalue]

Parents never seem to learn that the more you fuck with your kids while they are under your care, the less respect you're going to get once they're independent.

My parents weren't religious dicks, but they were dicks, and I now see them as little as possible.

[rexbeccarox]

Steel is spot on, IMO.

[SteelCurtain]

Grazie mille bella!

[DeistPaladin]

In the meantime, take this opportunity to study the Babble as every atheist really should. It will help in later debates once you do come out.

Fuck the bible.  That's just propaganda written by the winners.  If you want to have some real fun read through some of these characters.

http://www.earlychristianwritings.com/ch...thers.html

You find such gems as this in Irenaeus' Against Heresies, Book 2

Chapter XXII.-The Thirty Aeons are Not Typified by the Fact that Christ Was Baptized in His Thirtieth Year: He Did Not Suffer in the Twelfth Month After His Baptism, But Was More Than Fifty Years Old When He Died.

Clearly, the fuckers were still working out the kinks in the late 2d century!

Baby steps, Min. 

Let him first discover the wonderful world of mental gymnastics that Christians perform as they try to reconcile the four different Gospels accounts with each other and with Acts. That alone is a train wreck. 

Then he can find the gems in the epistles that completely derail the Christian dreamscape of "The Early Church", like my personal favorite 1John 4:1-3, where a supposed companion of Jesus has to denounce the Docetic Christians who thought Jesus was an apparition and he does so not with recent history that living people would have remembered by the language of faith. 

Then let him find out just how unreliable the "reliable eye-witnesses" were. Mark was an anonymous Gospel attributed by tradition who was in turn supposedly passing on what he'd heard Peter say. And this Gospel got at least one second edition that we know of with Mark 16. 

Then he can attend your graduate level class where he'll learn all about the wild variety of "early Christianities", the pseudo-epigraphy, the "interpolations", the different Christian takes on who, what, where and when Jesus was and what a crock the entire drama is.