I sold my "soul"

[Fidel_Castronaut]

Tell ya what, I'll buy your souls with an at least 1% chance of your wish coming true. Deal?

I like those odds

[Exian]

Doesn't work unless you make the request from this location:

Hey, is that where the southern cross the dog? I
always wanted to get down there to challenge the devil. Or take a few selfies, whichever.

[Alex K]

A short while ago I reached out to the devil in order to make a deal.  My soul in exchange for the ability to be an amazing, published, famous writer.
Apparently, the devil no more wants to reach out to me than does his counterpart, god.  

psst. try a publisher. It's the next best thing to the devil.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

This reminds of the story (possibly apocryphal) about Linda Ronstadt being approached by a fan who told her, 'I'd do ANYTHING to be able to sing like you do!' to which Ronstadt replied, 'Really?  Would you practice five hours a day, six days a week, for 15 years?'

Boru

[Nope]

This reminds of the story (possibly apocryphal) about Linda Ronstadt being approached by a fan who told her, 'I'd do ANYTHING to be able to sing like you do!' to which Ronstadt replied, 'Really?  Would you practice five hours a day, six days a week, for 15 years?'

Boru

As a person who can not sing, I promise that no amount of practicing will make my singing less torturous to the listener.

[pocaracas]

Really?! There's a soul you can sell?
WOW!
Pics, or it didn't happen!

[Brakeman]

There's a simple reason the devil is not interested in you souls, they are not intact anymore.

Inside every brain cell there is microscopically small heart that doesn't pump anything, but is just a magical container of a flake of fairy dust that the christians call a soul. When that brain cell dies, it releases the little spec of magic. When all the brain cells die at once, all the fairy dust sparkles and flashes and "poof" it creates a perfect ghost being that is ready to fly across the galaxy to heavens remote.

BUT!!!! If you continually kill lots of brain cells at the pubs and parties.... Welll... Let's just say there's not enough magic left in many of you to get the stains out of a pair of undies..

That's why Satan ignores you.

[DeistPaladin]

I offered to give my soul away.

Really, I made the offer on YouTube to Satan that if he shows up personally to collect by the end of 06/06/06, he could have my soul. Don't need money. Don't need fame. Don't need no credit card... oh wait, that's something different. Sorry. 

That day came and went. No takers. 

My soul was apparently so worthless, I couldn't even get a personal visit. 

[vorlon13]

There's a simple reason the devil is not interested in you souls, they are not intact anymore.

Inside every brain cell there is microscopically small heart that doesn't pump anything, but is just a magical container of a flake of fairy dust that the christians call a soul. When that brain cell dies, it releases the little spec of magic. When all the brain cells die at once, all the fairy dust sparkles and flashes and "poof" it creates a perfect ghost being that is ready to fly across the galaxy to heavens remote.

BUT!!!! If you continually kill lots of brain cells at the pubs and parties.... Welll... Let's just say there's not enough magic left in many of you to get the stains out of a pair of undies..

That's why Satan ignores you.

Some of us might put considerable value on the right kind of stains in our undies, I'll have you know.