Posts: 15452
Threads: 147
Joined: June 15, 2015
Reputation:
88
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 6, 2015 at 11:33 am
(August 6, 2015 at 11:30 am)Nope Wrote: Oh, I got you beat all beat in the gross baby diaper competition. We had to put my youngest daughter's diapers on backwards to prevent her from randomly stripping in embarrasing moments.
For those who don't know, when you leave base housing, your quarters have to be cleaned and inspected. A woman stopped by to give me a pre inspection advice and asked to see the house. We got to my daughters bedroom and she asked if she could look inside. Fearing that I would wake my daughter from nap I told the lady no but for some weird reason she insisted so I opened the door. My smiling baby girl had not only stripped off every article of clothing but had smeared poop all over her face, in her hair and on her cribs and the walls closest to her bed. The woman looked at me like I 'd grown an extra head. I told her that she would have to let herself out because I needed to tend to my child. Blech
Oh my gosh, this is amazing!!!
(i didn't know you were in the military too!)
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
Posts: 15452
Threads: 147
Joined: June 15, 2015
Reputation:
88
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 6, 2015 at 11:35 am
(August 6, 2015 at 11:32 am)Exian Wrote: Hell no I wasn't! It was 3am and a baby was in peril (and so were my neighbor's ears). I just dove in. I grew up in the country though, so coming into contact with poo at least three times a day is the norm. As kids we used to have road apple fights. The winners were usually the ones that were willing to pick up the fresh ones.
3am?
It was clearly the Demon's doing.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
Posts: 21824
Threads: 24
Joined: February 2, 2010
Reputation:
106
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 6, 2015 at 11:49 am
(August 6, 2015 at 10:19 am)Catholic_Lady Wrote: Let me describe my poop to you, as it is something I am very proud of.
I actually have very good poop. They normally come out in one healthy, large log. Kind of a milk chocolate color. I also have the incredible gift of being in and out of the bathroom in a matter of seconds. I don't understand everyone else's need to sit on the toilet and "wait" for the poop. When I feel the poop is coming, I sit on the toilet, and it comes out immediately. I guess not everyone can be so blessed.
Oh, and they ALWAYS float. It's like one large floating log in the toilet.
I have guitar magazines on the toilet tank, because I think a healthy shit should be enjoyed at leisure. I don't see the need to rush anything.
My shits vary depending on what I eat. Over the last five years, I've taken to eating less beef, more chicken, and much more fresh, uncooked vegetables. When I eat beef, my crap is pretty solid; but if I've had a Greek salad for dinner (hush, Vorlon, I know what you're thinkin'!) then my shit is looser.
Either way, I will take the extra time on the pot to ensure that my crap is fully liberated.
Posts: 2344
Threads: 79
Joined: November 18, 2014
Reputation:
42
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 6, 2015 at 11:53 am
(August 6, 2015 at 11:33 am)Catholic_Lady Wrote: (August 6, 2015 at 11:30 am)Nope Wrote: Oh, I got you beat all beat in the gross baby diaper competition. We had to put my youngest daughter's diapers on backwards to prevent her from randomly stripping in embarrasing moments.
For those who don't know, when you leave base housing, your quarters have to be cleaned and inspected. A woman stopped by to give me a pre inspection advice and asked to see the house. We got to my daughters bedroom and she asked if she could look inside. Fearing that I would wake my daughter from nap I told the lady no but for some weird reason she insisted so I opened the door. My smiling baby girl had not only stripped off every article of clothing but had smeared poop all over her face, in her hair and on her cribs and the walls closest to her bed. The woman looked at me like I 'd grown an extra head. I told her that she would have to let herself out because I needed to tend to my child. Blech
Oh my gosh, this is amazing!!!
(i didn't know you were in the military too!)
My husband retire with over 20 years. My baby sister is still in the military and my brother was trained as a nurse but eventually went to school to be a PA. We have a long line of military people in my family. Lol
Posts: 15452
Threads: 147
Joined: June 15, 2015
Reputation:
88
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 6, 2015 at 12:22 pm
(August 6, 2015 at 11:53 am)Nope Wrote: (August 6, 2015 at 11:33 am)Catholic_Lady Wrote: Oh my gosh, this is amazing!!!
(i didn't know you were in the military too!)
My husband retire with over 20 years. My baby sister is still in the military and my brother was trained as a nurse but eventually went to school to be a PA. We have a long line of military people in my family. Lol
Awesome!
Thank you for your services.  (wives serve too!)
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
Posts: 27252
Threads: 519
Joined: June 16, 2015
Reputation:
90
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 6, 2015 at 12:25 pm
No baby diaper stories. I'd always vomit at the sight/smell. No one wants a baby covered in puke and shit!
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
Posts: 15452
Threads: 147
Joined: June 15, 2015
Reputation:
88
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 6, 2015 at 12:29 pm
(August 6, 2015 at 11:49 am)Parkers Tan Wrote: (August 6, 2015 at 10:19 am)Catholic_Lady Wrote: Let me describe my poop to you, as it is something I am very proud of.
I actually have very good poop. They normally come out in one healthy, large log. Kind of a milk chocolate color. I also have the incredible gift of being in and out of the bathroom in a matter of seconds. I don't understand everyone else's need to sit on the toilet and "wait" for the poop. When I feel the poop is coming, I sit on the toilet, and it comes out immediately. I guess not everyone can be so blessed.
Oh, and they ALWAYS float. It's like one large floating log in the toilet.
I have guitar magazines on the toilet tank, because I think a healthy shit should be enjoyed at leisure. I don't see the need to rush anything.
My shits vary depending on what I eat. Over the last five years, I've taken to eating less beef, more chicken, and much more fresh, uncooked vegetables. When I eat beef, my crap is pretty solid; but if I've had a Greek salad for dinner (hush, Vorlon, I know what you're thinkin'!) then my shit is looser.
Either way, I will take the extra time on the pot to ensure that my crap is fully liberated.
Never understood the appeal of sitting on a cold, hard, ceramic seat with a hole on it filled with water and poop....
I get in, push, and get out. I'd much rather sit on a soft clean couch.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
Posts: 13900
Threads: 262
Joined: January 11, 2009
Reputation:
82
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 6, 2015 at 12:33 pm
Just off to "drop the kids off at the pool".
You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.
Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.
Posts: 5492
Threads: 53
Joined: September 4, 2014
Reputation:
55
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 6, 2015 at 12:34 pm
(This post was last modified: August 6, 2015 at 12:34 pm by Exian.)
My personal favorite "gonna take the Browns to the Super Bowl". It can never be confused with its natural meaning.
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:
"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."
For context, this is the previous verse:
"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
Posts: 15452
Threads: 147
Joined: June 15, 2015
Reputation:
88
RE: The Taboo of Number Two
August 6, 2015 at 12:36 pm
Poop is a noun AND a verb.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
|
