Understanding "Passive aggressive behavior"?

[Edwardo Piet]

I never quite understand exactly what passive aggression is because I find the standard definitions vague and the examples everyone give seem to be very different. It's one thing I've never quite understood the concept of which is kind of weird really because I have grasped much deeper concepts.

Or is it just a very vague thing anyway?

What exactly is it and can we all come to an agreement of some classic examples of the behavior if there are any?

Additionally do you know anyone that is significantly passive aggressive or do you ever feel that you yourself particularly are?

And what is the mildest and severest examples you know of? How bad can it get and how mild can it also be?

I don't understand why understanding it slips past me but for whatever reason(s) it does.

Is it at all linked to self-sabotage or does it mainly affect others?

Is it a common trait or a rare trait? Anytime I google about it I am always dissatisfied in the info and I can never seem to find a general understanding of it that isn't completely disagreed with every other site I read up about it. I don't know - what do others think?

P.S. Is this concept incredibly simple and I just fail to understand because I am socially r-tarded in some way I wonder? lol

[Reforged]

I'm pretty passive aggressive. Its mostly down to laziness.
Getting up to beat my nephews repeatedly is exhausting. They get the gist if I just shake my fist at them then fall asleep.

[robvalue]

Hmm. I suppose I'd call it trying to control someone, or the situation, under the disguise of humility. Most often this seems intentional and I dislike it as it's dishonest.

I guess "overly playing the victim" is a common form.

[Longhorn]

Omg sooo tired of ppl with orange usernames

^passive aggressiveness c:

[Edwardo Piet]

Hmm an example would be ....?

Omg sooo tired of ppl with orange usernames

^passive aggressiveness c:

Isn't that just a non-serious complaint or something like that?

[robvalue]

For example, saying in a quiet, sad voice, "You all go out and have fun, I'll be fine here all on my own."

[Edwardo Piet]

Ah... so is the meaning limited to stuff like that then? Getting what you want by self-deprecating?

Or is the definition frustratingly vastly more broad than that? Because what tends to bother me with grasping the concept is I am often given a ton of examples that are all so very different that I have trouble finding a common theme to exactly what it is. Sometimes it seems not even particularly passive to me but more like merely "indirect" aggressive but that is sooooooo fucking broad...

[robvalue]

I've not heard it used in any other way that I can think of.

http://youtu.be/NHVRVFslme8

[LastPoet]

Omg sooo tired of ppl with orange usernames

^passive aggressiveness c:

I am tired of people with cats on their avatar... Oh wait..

[Longhorn]

Hmm an example would be ....?

Omg sooo tired of ppl with orange usernames

^passive aggressiveness c:

Isn't that just a non-serious complaint or something like that?

A vague comment that doesn't specifically name the person that is the object of the complaint made publicly to make the person it refers to feel hurt or awkward.